Finding A New Forever
by Noxbait
Summary: What happened in the moments, days, weeks after the fade out in "Forever in a Day."  The team help Daniel find his way after Sha're dies.  Hanky warning. :
1. Chapter 1

Jack kept one hand on Daniel's right elbow as they made their painfully slow way toward the tent entrance. Daniel remained silent, concentrating all his efforts on cradling Sha're close to him and staying on his feet. Holding the material to the side, Jack kept an eye on Daniel as they stepped out into the daylight. It was obvious the brightness of the afternoon sun was painful to Daniel's eyes. Without a sound, Daniel squeezed his eyes shut, then forced them open, staring blankly down at Sha're's still face. He dropped his head so close their faces nearly touched, but he never stopped moving. Jack pulled his own sunglasses down over his eyes, and fingered his radio.

"Carter. Dial it up."

"Yes, sir." Came the crisp reply.

Jack looked back at Daniel. He obviously was in a world of his own, totally oblivious to everything around him. Jack couldn't blame him. Numb was the word that came to mind. He had been totally numb after the doctor had shaken his head across Charlie's bed and Sarah dissolved into wracking sobs in his arms. He hadn't been able to feel anything after that. Sighing, he gripped his friend's arm tighter as Daniel stumbled slightly in the sand. Jack knew that he had to be hurting and extremely dizzy, but he wasn't going to give up.

He had come too far.

Jack looked ahead to the gate. Carter had just dialed it and the vortex whooshed open. She turned to look their way, shading her eyes with her hand. Teal'c stood at her side, solemn and still. They were so close, yet it took them awhile to reach the gate. Jack could tell Daniel was almost at his limit. He was moving slower and stumbling more frequently. Everything about him screamed exhaustion. Jack looked back at Carter and waved her through the gate, mouthing "Tell Hammond."

Carter nodded, grasping his meaning immediately. She spoke quietly to Teal'c and then turned and walked through the gate. Jack could see her shoulders were slumped and she looked ready to cry. But he knew she wouldn't.

Not yet she wouldn't.

Teal'c stayed by the gate, waiting patiently. Jack felt Daniel sway and he moved his hand to his back, using his other to guide him by his elbow now. They made it to the gate. Sighing again, Jack guided him through.

They reached the other side, and Jack heard Teal'c come through behind them. Carter was at the bottom speaking earnestly to Hammond. They both looked up. Carter's stricken look deepened and Jack noted that Hammond looked about as distraught. No one spoke for which Jack was grateful. Janet's med team stood by at the side of the gateroom, saying nothing and not moving. Daniel stumbled again and Jack could feel his arms shaking against his chest. But he wasn't about to take Sha're from Daniel.

The whole situation was surreal. Jack felt like he was in a time dilation field. Everything was moving in slow motion. And it was so quiet. They reached the end of the ramp and started to move to the gurney that was standing by at the ready. Jack wasn't sure what Daniel was going to do next, but he wasn't going to leave him. To his relief, Daniel gravitated to the gurney and together they gently laid Sha're down. No one moved, not even Janet, and again Jack was grateful.

Jack glanced at the doctor. She briefly caught his eye and he could see she had tears in her eyes. She looked from him to Daniel and back again in a silent question. Jack shook his head slightly. _Give him time._ He silently pleaded. Janet nodded and looked back at Daniel. He was holding his wife's hand, swaying ever so slightly. Jack had no idea how long they stood there, but it finally was long enough that Janet was ready to take charge.

She said softly, "Daniel."

He didn't respond or look at her. She repeated softly, "Daniel, I need to take care of you. My team will take care of Sha're for you." She motioned to two of her orderlies who took careful hold of the gurney. She desperately wanted to cry. But she also desperately wanted to get Daniel laying down. He was about as pale as she'd ever seen him and he was not at all steady on his feet.

He didn't relinquish his hold on Sha're's hand or give any indication of hearing Janet's words. He didn't react when the men started to move the gurney, he just took a step to follow. He could hear Janet talking soothingly to him, but none of her words were making any sense. He frowned, his head aching terribly. There was a dull hum all around him drowning out Janet's words. He felt the gurney move and he tightened his hold on Sha're's hand. He felt Janet touch his shoulder, a gentle pressure. He recognized suddenly that she was trying to pull him away.

"Jack."

Janet stopped speaking abruptly at the whispered word. She frowned and looked from Daniel to Jack. Jack shook his head, not taking his eyes off of his friend. He knew exactly what Daniel meant by that.

"Just let him go with her, Janet."

Although he knew exactly what was flying through the doctor's mind at that moment, to her credit and his immense relief, she nodded, stepping back. He gave her the smallest smile in heartfelt thanks and she nodded again. Jack nodded at the orderlies and the motley group began its downtrodden trek to the morgue.

Jack had never been a part of such a sorrowful procession. No one spoke as they made their way through the quiet hall toward the elevator. He knew Janet was at his elbow, but she was not saying anything. He was still holding Daniel's arm. He saw a few people moving out of their way, looks of shock and sadness spreading across their faces as they respectfully moved aside. The elevator doors opened and they moved inside.

Daniel closed his eyes and Jack felt him lean against him more heavily. Jack's head was throbbing. It was all so wrong. So very, very wrong. This was not the way it was supposed to end. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

The elevator doors opened and they slowly made their way down another hallway, then into the deathly stillness of the morgue. Jack felt Daniel shiver. He wanted desperately to get Daniel out of the room and away from the horror of it all. But he knew that was not what Daniel wanted or needed right now. Right now, he needed the time to just come to some sort of comprehension about what had just happened to him.

The orderlies stopped, snapping the brakes on the gurney and stepping silently away. Janet silently pushed a stool toward Jack. Jack nodded and gently pushed Daniel onto it. He met no resistance. Daniel sat down heavily as if his last measure of strength had just evaporated. He was stroking Sha're's hand gently, studying her face. Jack kept his hand on his shoulder, feeling more than a bit exhausted himself. He started to turn away, looking for another stool.

"Jack."

He turned back immediately at the whisper. "Daniel?"

"Stay. Please." Daniel didn't look at him.

Jack squeezed his shoulder, "Not going anywhere, Daniel."

He felt a hand on his own arm and saw Janet had pulled another stool over. He smiled his thanks and scooted closer to his friend. Janet stepped back toward the door. Jack could see the doorway from where he sat and was not surprised to see Carter and Teal'c behind the glass of the door. A tear was rolling down Carter's cheek. Janet slipped through the door to stand beside Carter and Jack could see her own tears were no longer held in check.

He was thankful that everyone was backing off and giving Daniel the time he so desperately needed. He was also immensely pleased and honored that Daniel wanted him to stay. Words were seldom needed between him and his friend. Their friendship was so close and Jack found himself at a loss again, as he often did, to even begin to comprehend how exactly that had happened. But it didn't matter, really. What mattered was that they both had exactly what they needed. A friend closer than a brother who understood the other on some deep level that words could not express and no one could even really understand.

They sat in complete silence for a few minutes. Jack knew that there was absolutely nothing he could say that would help his friend right now. The best thing, the only thing, was for him to simply be there.

Daniel suddenly sighed and leaned forward, fumbling with his glasses and leaning his aching head onto his arm on the gurney, his other hand still holding Sha're's cold hand. The silence was broken by the sound of his glasses hitting the floor. Jack flinched at the sudden sound but didn't move. He wanted to call Janet and have her drag Daniel to a bed and drug him with something strong for the pain. But he still didn't move.

He could feel Daniel's shoulder's trembling slightly with silent tears. Running his hand across his eyes again he suddenly felt very old. He looked out at the rest of his team. Teal'c looked possessed with guilt. Even his stoic face couldn't hide the deep pain that he was feeling. Jack wanted to tell him it was not his fault, he had done what he had to. He wanted to thank the Jaffa for saving the life of his best friend.

Carter was wiping her eyes and bravely trying to look like the Air Force officer she was. Janet had her arm linked with Sam's. She looked at Jack, every stitch of her being screaming at him to let her come back in and take care of Daniel. Jack again shook his head and she again backed down. Just a little more time. He looked back at Sha're's peaceful face. She really was gorgeous. Life was too unfair.

"Jack." Daniel's voice was muffled.

"Daniel?" Jack leaned closer.

"I'm cold." The words were strained.

"You want to go see Janet now?"

"Yes." Daniel didn't move. "Thank you." _Thank you for giving me time and for staying with me, Jack._

Jack knew exactly what Daniel was thinking even though he didn't say it aloud. "You're welcome, Daniel." _I'm here for you._

After a few moments, Daniel managed to get his head up again. He took one more look at Sha're's face, squeezed her hand, then dropped his own hand. The first time he had been out of contact with his wife since this disaster had happened, Jack realized. Jack pushed his own stool away, wondering vaguely where Daniel's glasses had landed, then realized it didn't matter anyway.

Daniel's eyes were unfocused and bloodshot. He seemed to be growing paler by the second and as he stood, Jack realized he was even more dizzy and unsteady. They made it almost to the door, Jack supporting Daniel more by the second, when Daniel suddenly lurched to the side, toward a convenient garbage can. Jack held him up when he started puking his guts up. Jack felt sick himself. He looked up; surprised that Janet had not come rushing in. She was standing at the ready, looking more than a little unhappy, but she waited.

After a few moments, Daniel had recovered enough to stand, although Jack noted his eyes were closed. They made it to the door, Janet immediately grabbing Daniel's other arm. Without words, they all made their way to the elevator. The silence was eerie, Jack thought. So few words had been spoken since they had come through the gate that he really was starting to feel his ears ringing.

They made their unsteady way to the infirmary and Daniel needed no prodding to fall onto the first convenient bed. He dropped like a ton of bricks. Jack looked at Janet expectantly. She made a few quick examinations, then sighed.

"He's unconscious, sir."

Jack felt weak suddenly, and was grateful for the chair that was at the side of the bed. He dropped into it heavily, his head dropping to his hands. There were soft voices around him, he could feel movement as Janet busied herself checking Daniel's vital signs. He just let it all surround him like a dream. After an unknown amount of time, he felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently.

He opened his eyes and looked at the bed. Daniel was still dressed, covered with a blanket, dead to the world. He turned his head and saw Carter standing next to him.

"Daniel?" He asked softly.

"Janet gave him something for the headache and nausea, sir. He's going to be asleep for hours." Sam rubbed her neck. "General Hammond wants to see you. I'll stay here."

Jack nodded. He pushed himself to his feet slowly and looked at Carter. She smiled at him sadly. She had cleaned up and, while her eyes were red from many tears, she was in control of herself.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day and a half passed very slowly and quietly around the base. Life went on as usual for the most part. Teams went off world, teams came back. Jack spent most of his time alternating with Carter sitting with Daniel. Sam immersed herself in work whenever she wasn't in the infirmary. Teal'c was more silent than usual, either meditating in his quarters, or keeping a distant vigil on his friend. There wasn't a lot of conversation to be had as Daniel was suffering from a severe concussion on top of losing his wife. The lights and voices were kept low and he slept most of the time, waking every now and then in a dazed, pain filled awareness. His sleep was rarely restful, punctuated with awful nightmares. But he kept trying to rest. They knew he was conserving his strength and trying his hardest to be ready for the funeral the next day.

Jack spent as much time reliving those awful first days after Charlie's death as he did thinking about Sha're. It was painful to think about how much his own grief had torn him and his life apart back then. He had isolated himself from even Sarah and if it hadn't been for Daniel, it would have destroyed him completely. So he stayed close. He didn't want Daniel to have to go through this alone, as he had forced himself to do.

* * *

Janet's medical instincts told her there was no way that Daniel should be going anywhere, especially not to a desert planet for a funeral. But her other instincts won out, and she relented more easily than Jack had thought possible. She was going too, of course, with her bag of tricks. Daniel would be somewhat drugged, but at least he'd be able to go to his wife's funeral.

They all went, in their dress blues, General Hammond included. It was a short, very sad ceremony. Daniel held up well, though they could all tell he felt miserable the entire time. Jack knew exactly how bad he felt when Daniel declined Kasuf's offer to stay on Abydos for awhile. _Not that Janet would have let him anyway, _Jack knew.

Changing out of his dress blues and pulling on a polo, Jack found Daniel leaning against his own locker, having changed into a pair of jeans and a blue sweater. Their eyes met and Daniel whispered desperately, "Jack, I want to get out of here."

Jack nodded needing no further prodding, "Ok, I'll go talk to Frasier." He touched Daniel's shoulder, "You gonna stay here?"

"Yes."

"All right, I'll be back." Looking over his shoulder as he left the locker room, he saw Daniel slide down to the floor and put his head on his knees. Jack hurried double time to the infirmary, prepared for the battle he knew was ahead. But no matter what Janet said, he was _not_ leaving the base without Daniel.


	3. Chapter 3

Five hours after the funeral, Daniel collapsed onto Jack's couch in exhaustion. He had both hands gripping his head and looked like he wanted to die. Jack knew that was about the truth too. The funeral would have been hard enough to get through had Daniel been healthy, but on top of the migraine of the century, it had been just about murder. Jack sighed heavily, walking back to the kitchen for a bottle of water and a beer. It had been a very long day and his own head was aching.

Janet's good graces had just about been done in by the time they got back from Abydos. She wanted to lock Daniel up in the infirmary for at least a week. Jack had none of it. In very calm, very controlled voices, he and Janet had finally reached an agreement. Daniel was not staying in that cold, impersonal infirmary for one more minute. Jack had a list of Janet's instructions, several bottles of pills, and they were on their way out of the mountain.

Walking back to the living room, Jack put a water bottle in front of Daniel on the coffee table, and settled himself in his armchair. He looked at his watch. It would be another 2 hours before Daniel could have his next pain med. Jack sat silently. He wasn't sure what to say or do. Part of him wanted to push Daniel off to the spare bedroom right then. The other part wasn't at all sure if that was what he should do or not.

Jack glanced over at his friend who had just sat back into the cushions. He looked like the couch was about to swallow him up. The dark circles below his eyes were growing darker and he was clearly exhausted. His hands had dropped to the couch as he listlessly turned his head and looked over at Jack. He looked so tired and in so much pain, physical and emotional, that Jack wished there was something he could do. He finally asked softly, "You want anything?"

Daniel didn't reply for a full minute, they just stared at each other. Finally, Daniel asked quietly, "Is there a game on?"

Jack raised his eyebrows. Well he hadn't expected that request. But he knew what it meant. Daniel was desperate to find something else to think about. He had done nothing for the last two and a half days but think about Sha're. When he'd been conscious. _Well, even when he hadn't been_, Jack realized. He was ready to stop thinking for a while. Jack couldn't agree more. He needed to stop thinking about it too.

"Let's see." He said, reaching for the remote. It was Thursday afternoon. Surely something would be on ESPN, even if it wasn't hockey. Didn't matter what, Jack would watch women's Lacrosse if that was all that was on. He flipped the TV on and ran through the channels. Good, the baseball playoffs were on. Didn't matter what teams were playing. Didn't matter what the score was. They just needed the distraction. They watched in silence until the first commercial break. Jack glanced at Daniel. His eyes were closed and he actually looked at peace. Sighing, Jack took a drink of his beer.

* * *

That evening, they had dinner in front of their fourth game of the day. Daniel had dozed on and off all evening and while he barely touched his food, at least he had eaten some of it, Jack thought. By nine, he had made his way to bed, leaving Jack to continue the marathon alone. Jack himself dozed off at some point. Suddenly roused, he squinted in the near darkness. It was almost one-thirty. Rubbing his eyes, he could hear running water in the guest bathroom. He stiffly rose from the chair. _Oh that had not been the best idea,_ he thought to himself, rubbing his aching neck. Yawning, he flicked off the infomercial and tossed the remote onto the coffee table. He picked up some of the discarded plates and food. Dropping them in the kitchen, he headed down the hallway. He paused at the open guestroom door.

Daniel had both hands pressed against his eyes and was sitting on the floor leaning against the bed. Sighing, Jack leaned against the doorjamb. "You ok?"

It was nearly thirty seconds before Daniel replied, "Been better."

Jack smiled briefly. "Did the tv wake you up?"

"No."

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Not really." Daniel whispered, "I keep seeing her die."

_Crap._ Jack thought. Why was it that the bad stuff was all people ever dreamed about anyway? Why couldn't it have been happy memories. He crouched down in front of his friend.

"I'm sorry, Daniel."

Daniel lowered his hands and rested his head on his knees. "I keep thinking if I had gone in faster, if I had been more careful I could have saved her…"

"Daniel…"

"If I had just been able to wing her before she used the hand device. Jack, I hesitated. I _hesitated_…and I should have known better, been smarter. Jack I froze, I just froze!" He looked up for the first time and Jack could see the bitter regret and near hysteria in Daniel's eyes.

"Daniel." Jack repeated softly, "Don't."

"I should have saved her_. I should have saved her_." He was staring at Jack, eyes wild and filled with tears.

"Daniel. Stop. Don't do the _if_ thing. You'll kill yourself with it. You did everything you could and you can't change anything. You have to stop before you destroy yourself."

They stared at each other for a moment. They both knew Jack was speaking with the voice of bitter experience. Finally Daniel sighed and lowered his head to his knees again, all the fight and energy completely evaporated.

"It hurts so much."

"I know."

"What do I do?" Jack hated the hopelessness he heard in his friend's voice.

"You take one moment at a time." Jack said softly, "One moment. That's all."

"_That's all_." Daniel repeated in the merest breath of a whisper. He pressed his hands to his head.

Jack touched his knee, "Daniel?"

"Not feeling so great."

"You should lay down and try to get some more sleep."

"I can't sleep."

"I'll grab you a pain pill."

"I don't think I can keep it down."

Jack frowned, "You been throwing up again?"

"Yes."

"You want to try some _7up_?" Jack saw the half shrug and got to his feet, "Be right back." He headed to the kitchen slowly. He rubbed his neck as he reached for a can. He was glad he had decided to stop on their way from the mountain. Janet's magic pills could only do so much. Heading out of the kitchen, he ran into Daniel. "Hey? Where're you going?"

Daniel didn't answer but kept walking, albeit shakily toward the living room. Jack followed silently, keeping a hand ready to steady Daniel if needed. Daniel made it to the couch and sank onto it wearily. Jack could see his face was sheet white even in the dim glow of the dining room light. He lowered his head to his knees. Jack put the can on the table in front of him and hesitated for a moment before sitting down next to Daniel.

"You don't have to stay up." Daniel whispered.

"Nope." Jack agreed, grabbing the remote and putting his feet up on the coffee table. "I don't. But I'm gonna. History channel or National Geographic?"


	4. Chapter 4

Friday Morning

Jack woke up groggily. He was slouched down on the couch, legs up on the coffee table, back, knees and neck aching from his less than ergonomic positioning. He blinked at the TV screen. On the screen was a rather graphic discussion on the finer points of the rack and other medieval torture devices. When had that started? The last thing he remembered had been a historical documentary on Babe Ruth. _That_ had been interesting. He looked at his watch. Seven am. What a night. Rubbing his eyes, he looked over at the other end of the couch.

Daniel looked like a zombie. Eyes bloodshot and glazed, he was staring through the TV. Tension and pain were clearly evident on his face. It had been a long night. After they had taken up residence on the couch the previous night, they had flipped back and forth between the History channel and the sports channels. They hadn't really talked at all, but the silent companionship had been enough. With a groan, Jack straightened up. Daniel looked over at him blankly.

"Morning."

Daniel didn't reply.

"Breakfast." Jack said, waving a thumb at the kitchen.

Daniel just closed his eyes. He felt sick to his stomach and like he was in an anvil factory. The pounding in his head would not stop. He'd felt utterly miserable for hours, but simply too exhausted to move. He'd hated to wake Jack for anything as he hadn't really been getting any sleep lately either.

Jack rubbed his neck and studied his friend. He'd had enough concussions in his life to know that the nausea could linger for a frustratingly long time. He was going to try to get Daniel to eat something at least.

"I'll make you some toast." Jack said, mostly to himself, as he moved to the kitchen.

* * *

After another documentary or two, the phone rang. It was almost ten, Jack noted. He quickly grabbed the phone and slipped out to the back porch. Daniel had stretched out on the couch after nibbling the toast and had finally dozed off about an hour ago, and Jack didn't want to disturb his few moments of rest.

"O'Neill."

"Sir."

"Carter."

"How are you two doing."

"Peachy." Jack sighed.

"How's Daniel?"

"Not good. We've been up all night."

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Nope. He gave up around 0130. He kept seeing her die."

"Crap."

"Exactly. So we've been watching TV since."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"So are we. So whatcha up to, Carter?"

She gave a short laugh. "Oh the usual, trying to solve technological mysteries and worrying about Daniel."

"Yeah. The usual." He echoed. "You and Teal'c still coming over tonight?"

"Yeah." Sam hesitated, "Sir, is it ok if we come out a bit early."

"Afraid I'm falling down on my duties here, Carter?"

"Of course not, sir. Just really want to be there."

"I know. Come out whenever you can, Sam. We can use the company."

"Five ok? I think I can make it out by then. We can pick up Chinese."

"Perfect. Hey, you wanna report to the doc for me?"

"Sure."

"Ok, well not much to report. No sleep, nightmares, headache, nausea. Kept some toast down. Being the model patient."

"Well that's news at least." Sam remarked.

"Yeah, but somehow I really find myself wishing he'd argue with me about something."

Sam sighed. "I know. Ok, I'll let Janet know. Anything you want me to pick up?"

"Nah. Just the Chinese will be fine. See you later, Carter."

"Ok, sir."

Jack studied his backyard for a minute. The leaves were starting to fall. _Should get around to raking one of these days._ Not today, though. He turned back to go inside. Daniel was taking a sip of water with badly shaking hands. He glanced up at Jack.

"Sam?"

"Yeah. They're coming around four with Chinese."

"Ok." Daniel said, putting the bottle of water back on the table. He leaned back against the cushions. "Some party."

"Yeah, well." Jack said, dropping into his chair. "Some days just aren't worth the effort of balloons."

"No kidding." Daniel said softly, closing his eyes and pressing his hands to his head again.

Jack started channel hopping and studied Daniel out of the corner of his eye. He was trying not to be a nagging clone of Dr. Frasier, but this was getting ridiculous. He finally bit the bullet and said, "Daniel why don't you just go to bed?"

All he got for a response was a muffled "Leave me alone" as Daniel pulled a pillow over his face. Jack bit his tongue. The last thing he wanted to do was to start an argument. He sighed and realized that Daniel really wasn't trying to be stubborn. It was way too obvious that, besides the headache and nausea that were keeping him up, he was just plain afraid to sleep. He'd told Jack about the dreams or visions that Sha're had used to talk to him back on Abydos. As they'd talked in the infirmary in the near dark, it had been clear that Daniel was confused and struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened. Jack remembered how impossible it had been to get any sleep after Charlie had died.

So he kept his mouth shut and just hoped that Daniel would fall asleep on the couch.


	5. Chapter 5

As it turned out, they both fell asleep. Feeling stiff and hungry, Jack finally woke up. Squinting at his watch, he realized it had only been just over an hour. Standing up, he rubbed his neck and glanced at the couch. Daniel was sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the couch, and his hands clasped behind his neck with his forehead resting on his knees. Sighing softly, Jack headed to the kitchen. He stared into the refrigerator. He resigned himself to a ham sandwich and some stale chips. Slapping the ham on the bread, he wasn't inclined to be too fussy, he decided he'd better make another sandwich for Daniel and see if he could encourage him to eat something. Pulling two bottles of water out of the fridge, he heard the tv click on in the other room.

He looked back into the living room and saw that the channels were changing on the tv in monotonous 15 second intervals. Sighing, he gathered up the food and water and headed back into the living room. Managing to set Daniel's plate and water down on the coffee table without dropping anything, he settled back into his chair. The channels continued to flick by for several minutes. He chewed on his sandwich and flicked a surreptitious glance at Daniel. He had a hand to his head, but was staring at the screen. After another moment, he dropped the remote on the table, a sports highlights show was just beginning. Sighing heavily, he glanced at the sandwich and picked it up without enthusiasm. Jack felt just a touch of relief and opened his bottle of water, concentrating on the show.

_One step at a time._

The silence lingered for about fifteen minutes after they finished eating. Under normal circumstances, Jack would not have found the silence oppressive. Today, though, he really wanted to fill the silence with something. Even with the television commentary, his mind was consumed with _what ifs_ and _whys_.

"Jack." Daniel asked softly. He'd been staring out the window for several moments.

"Hmm?"

"Can we take a drive?"

Jack looked over at him in surprise. "You feel up to it?"

"No." Daniel admitted easily, "I feel like crap. But I'm also tired of sitting here."

"Ok." Jack nodded, understanding. "Let me grab us some jackets. You take your pills?"

"Yes."

Ten minutes later they were on the road. Daniel had on a pair of Jack's spare sunglasses, leaving his glasses at home. He didn't really need them. He didn't want to see anything, anyway. But even the grey sky was too bright for his head. He leaned against the door, his head pressed against the cool window, eyes closed. Jack glanced at him, then back to the road. He headed out of the city for the peaceful county highway.

Jack was actually glad Daniel had suggested getting out of the house. He had been feeling cooped up since being in the infirmary so often and then the last 30 hours or so at his place. A change of pace was just what they needed. He hadn't been up to the mountains in a while anyway. He pulled down a tree lined road, admiring the bright colors the leaves were changing to.

He heard Daniel take a shaky breath and peered over at him. He didn't move or seem aware. He actually looked more peaceful and at rest than Jack had seen him look since Sha're had died. Had it only been 3 days ago? In some ways it felt like it had been only hours, other times it seemed like it had been years and years. He rubbed his head. _This was not how it was supposed to end._ He had been repeating that thought over and over the past 3 days. In some ways, he realized that for nearly 3 years, in the deepest recesses of his darkest thoughts, he knew that this was likely the outcome. He knew that Sha're had been lost forever.

He had never counted on Daniel being there to see the inevitable, though.

And he had certainly never in his wildest imaginations dreamed that Teal'c would have been the one to do the deed. He and Teal'c had had an unusually long talk during Daniel's second day in the infirmary. Sure enough, the stoic Jaffa had been berating himself and blaming himself endlessly. Jack worked hard to absolve him of his guilt, knowing that no matter what, some part of Teal'c would always ache for his part in Sha're's fate. Daniel had forgiven him which was what mattered. And Teal'c knew that, but it didn't make it a lot easier.

Jack kept driving, lost in his thoughts. He didn't realize that an hour was passing silently by. All he realized was that Daniel was getting some uninterrupted sleep. Suddenly, he heard Daniel's voice.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?" Jack glanced over at his friend. Daniel looked awful, but somehow just a smidgen better. He also had the tiniest hint of a smile on his face.

"We're gonna run out of gas."

"Oh." Jack looked at the dial. Sure enough, they were right on empty. "Guess we better find a gas station." He glanced around him, recognizing his location, and said, "There's a BP about five miles south. We'll make it."

Daniel nodded and looked out the windshield.

"You ok?"  
"Yeah, Jack. Thanks."

"No problem."

They hit the station and Jack filled the tank. He was putting the cap on when he heard a tapping on the passenger window. He walked forward. Daniel had the window half down. He looked at Jack, a slightly pleading expression on his face.

"Coffee?" Jack smiled.

"Coffee?" Daniel echoed, uncertainly. He knew full well Janet would have a fit, and that she would have made Jack promise within an inch of his life that he wouldn't give Daniel any coffee. So he wasn't sure what the outcome would be. _But it doesn't hurt to try._

Jack nodded, "I could sure use a cup too. Be right back."

Daniel closed his eyes and put his head down on the edge of the door. He was starting to feel worse. The drive had eased his mind, giving him some distraction and some peaceful rest. But now that they had stopped, his mind had started up again and the dull ache in his head was warming up to a pounding roar.

A moment later, he smelled approaching coffee. Raising his head with effort, he saw Jack smiling, two cups in his hands. "Here you go." Jack said, handing a cup to Daniel through the window.

"Thanks."

"Welcome." Jack walked around and climbed into the driver's seat. He looked at Daniel, "Just keep this confidential. Janet will have our hides."

"I'll never tell." Daniel whispered, taking a sip.

Jack started the truck and gratefully swallowed the hot coffee. He needed the pick me up. The sleepless night was catching up with him fast. He pulled onto the street, glancing at his watch. It was almost three.

"You ready to head back?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Ok."

The drive back was silent. They finished their coffee by the time they arrived at Jack's place. Jack felt energized. The crisp weather and the coffee brightened his outlook somewhat. He even considered raking the back yard. They went inside and Daniel made a beeline for the couch. He sank onto it as if he had just returned from a forced three day hike.

Jack shook his head in sympathy, reaching for the pills. Dropping the pain pills into Daniel's expectant hand, Jack said, "I'm gonna head out to rake a bit till Carter and Teal'c get here. You ok?"

Daniel gave him a thumbs up and waved him away, his eyes already closed.

Jack nodded and headed out to the garage. He pulled a rake and the hedge cutters out. The bushes were ridiculously overgrown. He headed for them first. Snapping the offending bushes quickly became a cathartic exercise. All his pent up anger and frustration and despair suddenly surfaced and his bushes suffered for it. But it was exactly what he needed.

He paused after a while to look at his handiwork.

"You might want to hire a gardener."

He looked up at the porch, startled. He hadn't heard the door open. Daniel stood a few feet away, holding the rail for support, looking slightly amused.

Jack glanced back at his wrecked bushes. _Crap._That hadn't taken long. They were a mess. But oh did he ever feel better now. He smiled at Daniel. "I guess I don't have the artistic touch." He grew serious. "Did I disturb you?"

"No. I just…" Daniel hesitated, rubbing his neck. "Needed to get some fresh air."

"Well, it's fresh here." Jack dropped the cutters, rubbing his hands. It was almost quarter after four and he heard the sound of a car pulling up out front. "Ah, Carter. Right on time." He headed for the door. Daniel hadn't moved. "You coming in?"  
"Yeah. In a minute." Daniel replied, looking at the bushes. "I think that last bush needs trimming still."

Jack picked up the snappers and gave them to his friend. He understood. He said, "Go for it, Daniel."

Daniel nodded, serious, but grateful for his friend's understanding. _And his willingness to let me destroy another bush in his backyard._ Jack headed inside as the door bell rang. Daniel slowly headed for the bush.


	6. Chapter 6

Teal'c had spent the morning leading a training session in hand to hand combat for a new group of recruits. The intense physical activity had helped to temporarily dispel the heavy feeling that had settled over his heart. It was the afternoon, devoid of strenuous physical or mental exercise, that had left him feeling disquieted. Kel'no'reem had not been coming easily the last few days, and, while he welcomed the feeling of physical pain as a sort of self-imposed penance, he was starting to feel quite weary. After spending an unsuccessful hour attempting to meditate, he had found some distraction in assisting one of the linguists with a difficult translation. Keeping his mind occupied was the only way to stop the endless second guessing he had been doing. A Jaffa warrior was trained from a very young age to be decisive and never waver in decisions. Killing and conquering for Apophis had made Teal'c adept at split second decision making, regardless of who suffered in the wake of that decision. When it had been the Jaffa of a rival Goa'uld, there was no reason to regret any lethal action.

This time, however, there was reason to regret.

As Dr. Lyly scoured her bookshelf for a reference, Teal'c found his mind wandering once more and regret flooded him. Never before had he so frequently played what O'Neill referred to as the "what if game." Teal'c had been among the Tau'ri long enough to know that this game was not for entertainment, nor was there a prize. It was a constant source of discomfort and frustration. _What if I had waited another moment?_ Teal'c shook his head ever so slightly. _No, I have seen the Goa'ulds use the device before, I know how quickly they can go from torture to execution with it._ His biggest regret was the fact that he had been holding his staff weapon rather than his zat. _With a zat, she would be alive now._ The very thought made his insides churn. He had been fighting a battle just moments before the fateful moment. There had been no time to switch from his battle gear to a less lethal means of subduing the Goa'uld. _Fate itself had cruelly intervened and made any other action impossible._

So why was he unable to lay this decision to rest?

Because his action had cost Daniel Jackson his last hope for a future happiness with his wife. Although Teal'c knew that his friend had long ago completely forgiven him for being the one to kidnap Sha're, Teal'c had never found it in himself to do the same. _There were some crimes that were simply unforgivable._ And now, he had committed yet another of those unforgivable crimes. He crossed out half of the words Dr. Lyly had scribbled on her notebook, much to her dismay.

"These words are an inaccurate translation of the Goa'uld phrase written on this tablet." Teal'c spoke gravely. His heart was not in the project and, while he knew the young linguist was still practicing her Goa'uld, he couldn't find it in himself to be overly sympathetic with her. "A more accurate translation would be _the one who triumphs against the Lord of Ipwain shall find themselves rewarded._"

She wrote his translation down quickly. "Thank you, Teal'c." She looked up shyly, still a bit intimidated by the man who towered over her. "I still haven't quite got the verbs and proper nouns completely figured out."

"It will come in time." He said, forcing himself to set her at ease. "I will assist you with the rest of the translation when you have finished retrieving the pieces of the tablet." He stood and bowed slightly as she thanked him.

Pausing outside, he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearly the time Major Carter had suggested they meet to leave the base. He slowly headed toward her lab. No one looking at him would have been able to tell, but Teal'c was unusually nervous. He had spent some time talking with Daniel Jackson prior to Sha're's funeral and his friend had made it clear that he considered their friendship intact and did not blame Teal'c for what had happened. Nevertheless, Teal'c finally understood the Earth sentiment of wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam rubbed her eyes again and tried to adjust the microscope to better enhance the particles on the slide. SG-9 had brought back several interesting specimens from their last mission. The samples had been sitting on her desk for over a week. She'd been in the middle of analyzing the samples when they got the call from Kasuf. Straightening up, she smiled. It looked like sample 4 was something that held potential. The magnetic properties of the microscopic particles were stronger than she had expected. It wasn't Naquada, but it held potential as a similar alloy. Jotting her notes down, Sam glanced at the clock on her computer screen.

She was expecting Teal'c at any time now. Sitting back, she sighed. It had been a long day. _It had been a long week_. She had kept busy for the most part, joining Janet for lunch, then returning to her samples. In all honesty, apart from the call to Jack earlier and lunch, Sam had managed to keep busy enough to almost completely forget about what had happened. Work was the greatest distraction in the world. It was after her mother's death that Sam had become a workaholic. Before her mother's death, she was studious and excelling in her classes. After the accident, she knew nothing except studies. Studying and solving problems had become therapy. Ever since, nothing distracted her as well as working on a project.

And this was no exception.

Sam twisted her finger in her hair and looked up at her violet, her attention wandering. Glancing back at her computer screen, her thoughts turned to Daniel. She had only really met Sha're once. _At least when she had been Sha're and not Ammonet_. She had been so exhilarated by the trip through the gate, being on another planet, and trying to grasp the idea she was talking and eating with real aliens that she had barely been able to concentrate on anything. She had vague memories of the pretty young woman moving around gracefully, serving others and seldom taking her eyes off of her husband. Sam smiled, remembering the kiss Sha're had given Daniel just before they left the gathering. She hadn't known what to make of Daniel at that point. She had heard so much about him and he had been about as far from what she'd expected and envisioned that she had truly been mystified by him.

Of course, it had taken them about 3 minutes of conversation to start the development of a friendship that had brought them closer than she was with her own brother. Since that moment, Sam had never lacked for someone to bounce ideas off of and who would listen to her for hours at a time. As much as Daniel talked the Colonel's ear off, he was an amazing listener when she needed to talk about some scientific discovery, or when she just needed to vent about something. Shaking her head, she saved her program and pulled out her shopping list.

"Major Carter." Teal'c said, stepping into the room. "Are you prepared to depart?"

"Hi Teal'c. Yeah, I'm good to go." She smiled at him. Even as she did, her heart was heavy seeing the continued regret and pain on his face._ Why did it have to happen this way?_ She headed toward him. "I've made a list of a few things to grab on our way. I'm thinking we might stay awhile."

Teal'c nodded as she handed him the list. "This is very wise, Major Carter." He frowned, "However, you are missing one important thing."

"Oh?" She tried to peer at the list in his hand.

"Indeed." He folded the list. "Cake."

* * *

Jack opened the door. Sam smiled at him, holding up a handful of Chinese. Teal'c had a grocery bag in his arms. "Tau'ri bearing gifts, sir." Sam said.

"Enter, Tau'ri." Jack nodded, smiling back.

They headed inside, Sam and Teal'c looking around conspicuously. Jack noted it as he led them to the kitchen. "He's outside murdering a bush."

Teal'c raised his eyebrow, of course, and Sam cocked her head to the side, frowning. "Sir?"

Jack sighed, "We both needed a little outlet for our frustration. My vegetation was the best candidate."

"Oh." Sam nodded, heading for a window. She saw Daniel across the yard, cutters in hand. His handiwork lay in a shredded heap at his feet. The bush was no more.

Jack followed her and shook his head. "Crap. That was fast. He did even more damage than I did."

Sam laughed, looking at the other 2 brutally chopped bushes. She sobered, looking back at Daniel who was still and staring into space. "How is he really, sir?"

"I don't know, Sam." Jack rubbed his eyes. _Coffee didn't last long._ "He's just plain beat. We got no sleep last night. He wanted to go for a drive earlier. I think he at least got a little rest as we drove. It's just starting to catch up with him now."

Sam nodded. "He's been in so much pain and so drugged… it's hitting him in stages." She paused, "Should I go…"

"No. Leave him alone for a bit. He'll come in when he's ready." Jack said, turning away. Teal'c had started unloading the grocery bag. Jack raised his eyebrows, "Carter? What did you bring?"

Sam turned and grinned, "Supplies for an extended mission, sir."

Teal'c nodded, "We have brought beer, soda, chips and other junk food, as you term it."

Jack peered at the pile, "And cake?"

"Well, a mix anyway." Sam shrugged, "The cakes all looked stale." She wrinkled her nose. "I thought it might be fun to make one up."

"Thank God it's a box." Jack remarked softly, instantly regretting saying it aloud.

Sam narrowed her eyes, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means it will be easier to make." Jack smiled brightly. The last cake Sam had made from scratch had left them all a rather pale shade of green. The recipe had gone into the shredder and the cake down the garbage disposal. Sam pursed her lips and gave him her most subordinate glare and turned to the other bag.

After they unpacked the groceries, they headed out to the living room, Teal'c with a stack of DVD's in his hands. Plopping the Chinese on the coffee table, Jack peered at the stack. "You've got to be kidding me." Jack shook his head, pulling out _Red Planet_.

Sam looked defensive. "Teal'c hasn't seen it."

"He shouldn't have to." Jack said in horror.

"Sir, you're just being rude. It is a reasonably good example of correct scientific material being presented on screen rather than ridiculous…"

"Stop!" He threw up his hands, "Carter, if it makes you happy, fine. I just don't want to hear all the reasons _why_ it makes you so happy, ok?"

"Sir." Carter smiled, heading for the couch, beer in hand. She paused, leaning to look out the window again. Daniel had turned and was making his way toward the porch. A moment later, he opened the door and headed for the living room. Sam took a quiet deep breath. He looked awful. He had looked awful at other times before, hell they all had. But it was more than that. He looked defeated. His very reason for existence, at least in some ways, had been ripped from his heart right before his eyes.

She caught his eye and he visibly brightened. "Sam."

"Hey Daniel!" She smiled, hurrying over to give him a hug. He embraced her willingly and held her tightly for a moment. She needed it almost as much as he did. They parted and she held her hand on his arm. "We brought Chinese."

"Sounds good." He lied easily. Fact was, he was really feeling nauseated now. And it was about all he could do to stand upright; his head was threatening to blow apart any second. "I'll be right back."

She nodded and he stopped briefly to greet Teal'c and subtly tell him once more that he there was nothing to forgive and to thank him for saving his life. Teal'c was more than a little stunned. Jack and Sam were too, casually observing from the other side of the room. Daniel squeezed Teal'c's arm then made his way unsteadily down the hall. Teal'c turned to the others and Jack knew he saw tears in the Jaffa's eyes. Jack shook his head. He was immensely pleased that Daniel's mind was functioning well enough that he knew Teal'c had done the only thing he could.

They started doling out the Chinese and Teal'c popped the DVD into the player.

Daniel didn't think he really had that much to puke up; he'd only had some coffee and half a sandwich. But his stomach was not pleased with him and he found himself easily parting with what he had eaten. He might have overdone it this afternoon. Running a hand over his eyes, he just wanted to go lie down and die. But sleep was not something he wanted to try again yet. The nightmares were too painful and vivid. So he was going to settle for a few more pills and another stint on the couch.

He washed up and headed back down the hall. Three-quarters of the way there, he felt terribly dizzy and leaned quickly against the wall for support. Jack heard the thunk of his shoulder hitting the wall from the kitchen and rounded the corner quickly. Daniel was still on his feet, eyes tightly closed, hand on his head, the other on the wall.

"Daniel." Jack said softly, touching his shoulder. "Want a hand?"

"Please."

"Couch or bed?"

"Couch."

"Ok. Ready?" They made their way to the living room, and he dropped to the couch as if the walk had taken the very last of his strength. He murmured his thanks, dropping his glasses on the coffee table.

Jack reached for the pill bottles and a bottle of water. Daniel accepted wordlessly and then dropped his head to his arms, leaning on his knees. Sam sat next to him, rubbing his back silently. She looked up to Jack and found him looking very concerned and tired.

_Why isn't he in bed? _She thought to herself.

He shrugged at her wordless question. _He can't sleep, what do you expect?_

Jack grabbed a plate of Chinese and eased into his armchair. Teal'c took up residence in the other chair. Jack started the movie as there seemed to be no cause for conversation. They watched silently, the only noise other than the movie was the sound of them refilling their plates. Jack looked back at Daniel. He was sitting in the same position, very still. Jack knew that everything he had eaten in the last 24 hours had just made a repeat appearance in the bathroom. He hoped the meds would ease the symptoms and that Daniel could at least try to eat something else.

Sam kept her usual continual scientific dialogue a bit more reserved and quiet than usual. Maybe there were not as many scientific fallacies to point out, or maybe she just was keeping quiet in deference to Daniel's headache, Jack wasn't quite sure which it was. Either way, he wasn't entirely disappointed. Ever since the team had started their movie night tradition, Jack had found that he no longer was able to watch a movie without near constant commentary from at least one of his teammates. Teal'c had asked endless questions the first year. He wasn't much better, but now he was eager to insert trivia he learned from the internet, or question the battle techniques in any action flick they watched. Then there was Sam and Daniel. Jack smiled just slightly. _They never shut up._ It was unusual to be watching a movie in this much quiet. Losing his brief smile, Jack sighed. As the credits rolled, Daniel finally pushed himself up with difficulty and fell back against the couch, still exhausted but feeling just slightly better. Sam rubbed his hand, looking at him in concern. He managed a weak smile.

"Better?" She asked softly.

"Yes." He peered at the coffee table. "Anything left?"

"Yes." She nodded, "Want something?"

He closed his eyes, "Yeah, but I don't think I can eat."

"Want some toast?" Jack offered, ready to run for another beer.

"Ok."

"Back in a bit." Jack said, heading for the kitchen. Toast was better than nothing. _At least he's trying._ Daniel really was being a model patient. _This is just wrong on so many levels._

Twenty minutes later, they were settled back for the next feature. Daniel had managed to eat half the piece of toast and keep some sips of water down. That was it. He couldn't keep his eyes open anymore, but he was more than a lot afraid to go to sleep. Sam was studying him carefully and knew exactly what was going through his mind.

"Daniel." She said softly.

"Hmm?"

"Why don't you lay down here for a bit. I'll scooch to the floor so I can stay by the food."

"Ok."

Sam glanced at Jack. He had been right, Daniel was beat. He wasn't at all trying to keep up a pretense that he was fine this time. _In fact, he hasn't said that once. Wow. _She helped Daniel get settled with a pillow under his head. He squeezed her hand in thanks, eyes pressed shut. She grabbed another pillow to sit on and kept her hand in his. Jack smiled at her and mouthed _Mother hen._

She narrowed her eyes and mouthed back _And you're not?_

Jack grinned, turning his attention to the movie. He was relieved Daniel was at last horizontal. Sitting up all day, and most of the night, had been exhausting, he was sure. About fifteen minutes into the movie, Teal'c ran to the kitchen for donuts and passed them around. Daniel didn't stir. Sam smiled and nodded at Jack's questioning expression. _Asleep._

_May it be peaceful and last._ Jack thought to himself. Another 30 minutes into the movie, Jack felt his eyes growing incredibly heavy. _Just as the action takes off…_ He didn't even realize it at first, but suddenly he was asleep.

Sam and Teal'c looked at each other through the blue light of the tv screen. The movie was over, it was almost ten o'clock and they were the only ones still awake. Sam had several cramps and her leg was asleep. She gently eased her hand out of Daniel's and accepted Teal'c's hand to drag her to her feet. They smiled at each other and Teal'c moved silently to grab some blankets while Sam turned off the TV set.

Jack was soundly sleeping, Teal'c had long since taken the empty beer bottle from his hand. Sam could tell that all of this was wearing on Jack badly. She still didn't totally comprehend how exactly he and Daniel had become such close friends, but she knew that they were. _Cut one and the other bleeds._

She rubbed her legs and looked down at Daniel. He was completely relaxed, no signs of discomfort or tension on his face. He was at peace. Exactly what he needed.

Teal'c returned, holding out a blanket to her. She spread it over Daniel while Teal'c laid another over Jack. They headed for the kitchen. Teal'c nodded to the door. She nodded back, turning out the kitchen light. Teal'c was back inside in moments, carrying two overnight bags. Sam grabbed hers and hurried to the spare bathroom. Moments later, she was curling up on the floor in front of the couch with a pillow and another blanket. She didn't want to be far from Daniel lest he have another nightmare. Teal'c situated himself on the opposite side of the room to attempt a session of Kel'no'reem.

Sam lay back, letting weariness and relief flood over her. They were all together and they were all alive. It would take time to get past this nightmare. But they would.


	8. Chapter 8

**Saturday Morning**

Jack yawned and stretched. He was sure he'd missed the best part of the movie. But he'd at least catch the last five minutes or so. Forcing his eyes open, he blinked in surprise at the brightness of the room. Even though the blinds were closed, it was obviously no longer night. He sniffed the air, smelling something odd, and looked around in confusion. The room was neat, no sign of the Chinese buffet they had eaten. Teal'c was nowhere to be seen and Sam was sitting next to the couch, leaning on it, her head in her right hand, her left hand clasping Daniel's right hand. He had his other hand over his eyes.

Jack sat up slowly and Sam looked up at him with a smile. He frowned, noticing that she was in plaid pajama bottoms and a tee shirt. He looked at his watch. It was just after nine. He walked over and sat down on the coffee table.

"Morning, sir." Sam said softly.

"Morning. What happened?" he asked. "Last I remember, Tokyo was in mortal danger."

"You fell asleep during the best part of the movie."

"Hm." He paused to rub his eyes, then said suddenly, "Who introduced Teal'c to _Godzilla_ anyway?"

"Ferretti." Daniel answered.

"Ah." Jack nodded. "He's the one who gave Teal'c _Star Wars _too. I'm going to have to speak with him. Teal'c takes Sci-Fi waaay too seriously." He glanced around, "Where is he anyway? I'm assuming you two camped out."

Sam nodded, "We didn't think you'd mind. He's baking the cake."

"Get out!"

"Yes, sir. He was up before me and starting on it when I grabbed a bite for breakfast. I think he's going to be a fine cook."

"Well, who'd've thunk it." Jack looked back at Daniel and tapped him gently on the shoulder. "How're you doing?"

He got a one-shoulder shrug as an answer. Raising his eyebrows at Sam, he asked, "Need anything?"

"No." there was a brief pause, then "Thanks."

"No problem."

Just then, Teal'c came into the room, asking, "Do you desire breakfast, O'Neill?"

"Cake done yet, T?" Jack asked hopefully, not in the slightest surprised to see the Jaffa wearing a "Kiss the Cook" apron. _Ah Cassie._

"Not quite, O'Neill."

"Ah." Jack stood up. "So no cake for breakfast."

"I was not aware that cake was a breakfast food." A slight eyebrow lift.

"It isn't for normal people." Sam whispered.

Jack glared at her, "_Normal,_ Major?"

"Well, it isn't really." She smiled, then added brightly, "Sir."

He grinned at her. "I'm going to take a shower and maybe when I get done, _then_ the cake will be done."

"Will your shower last 45 minutes, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked politely.

"No."

"Then the cake will not be done in time."

Sam stifled a giggle.

"Then I guess I'll have eggs to start with." Jack said, heading for the hallway, Teal'c following in his footsteps. He was slightly surprised when Teal'c continued following him past the kitchen and down the hall. Pausing at his bedroom door, he turned to his friend and inclined his head slightly, "Something you need, T?"

Teal'c said very softly, "Daniel Jackson did not sleep well during the night."

"I'm not surprised."

"He became quite ill at one point. After that, he did not wish to return to sleep. While Major Carter did at that point, we instead sat on the deck for several hours. He only just returned to the couch about an hour ago."

"Did he take anything?"

"He did not. He was afraid that he would become ill again."

Jack ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"I believe it would be wise to consult Dr. Frasier." Teal'c said. Jack could tell the other man was concerned.

"Ok." Jack nodded, "Let me talk to him." They headed back into the living room. They could hear Sam's soft voice as they approached and she glanced up.

Jack dropped back onto the coffee table. "Daniel."

"Jack."

"How are you feeling?"

Daniel still hadn't moved his hand from his head. "Dead."

"That's about how you look." Jack remarked truthfully.

"Thanks, you guys." Daniel whispered.

"For what?" Jack asked in surprise.

"For being here."

Sam squeezed his hand, a tear escaping down her cheek. "You know we'll always be here for you, Daniel."

"I know."

Sam rubbed his arm, "Daniel, how are you, really?"

"Hurts."

"Your head?"

"Yes."

"Do you still feel sick?"

"Yes."

Jack frowned. "Do you think you can keep a pill down?"

"No." Daniel whispered.

Jack shook his head, touching Daniel's arm again, "I think we need to call Janet."

"Ok."

Jack and Sam exchanged meaningful glances. _Oh, now we know the truth._ Jack thought. Never in all the time he had known Daniel had the man ever willingly admitted that he was sick enough to need a doctor. Jack nodded and stood up to get the phone. Teal'c crossed his path as he returned with a cool washcloth in his hand. Sam accepted it with a smile.

Daniel sighed heavily when she placed it over his eyes.

Jack stepped out onto the front porch and dialed Janet's cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Janet?"

"Uncle Jack?"

"Cassie?"

"How's Daniel?"

"Not so good, Cass. Is your mom around?"

"Yeah. Hang on a sec." The phone hit something hard and Jack instinctively pulled the phone away from his ear as he heard Cassie shout at the top of her lungs, "Mom! It's Jack!"

A moment later, "Colonel? It's Janet."

"Hey, doc."

"How's he doing?"

"Not so great. He didn't sleep much last night. He's really sick and his head is killing him."

"Did he take anything?"

"Not since last night. He doesn't think he can keep anything down."

"Ok. I'll be right over. Cass and I were just heading out to run some errands and hit the mall. I brought a few tools of the trade home with me from the mountain last night in case you called. I'll grab them and be over in twenty."

"Thanks Janet."

"No problem Jack."

Jack headed back inside the house. Sam hadn't left Daniel's side and Teal'c was hovering over the back of the couch. _A guilt-stricken guardian angel._ Jack thought. He put the phone in its charger and headed back to the coffee table. He caught Sam's subtle movement of wiping away a few tears from her eyes.

"Janet'll be here in twenty."

"Good." Sam sighed.

* * *

Janet was true to her word and the unlocked door opened just over twenty minutes later. Jack had just finished his eggs and waved Janet and Cassie into the living room. Janet came immediately, while the teenager hung back slightly, hesitantly. Teal'c turned and headed to her, pulling her into a warm embrace. They stood in the door way, his arm around her. Jack smiled at her, as he walked over and gave the girl a quick hug, noting the worry in her eyes.

"Hey Cassie. Teal'c made cake."

"No way!" She looked up at the Jaffa incredulously.

"Way." Jack said, "T, why don't you treat Cass to your creation."

"Of course. Come, CassandraFraiser." They turned and headed for the kitchen.

Jack turned back to the others, crouching down next to Janet.

"Daniel?" she said softly.

"Janet?" he asked, not opening his eyes.

She read his lips more than heard his voice. "Yes, it's me. I'm going to do a quick exam, then I've got some medicine for you. It's an injection like I gave you the first day."

Daniel just moaned in reply.

Janet exchanged glances with Jack and Sam, then quickly took Daniel's pulse and blood pressure. She pulled out some gloves from her bag and a syringe. "Daniel, I'm going to give you the injection now."

Daniel didn't respond so Janet simply pushed up his sleeve and gave him the injection. She put the syringe away and rubbed his arm sadly. Touching Sam's shoulder, she smiled tightly and rose. Jack followed her into the hallway.

"So?"

Janet sighed. "So. It's been just too much too soon. He suffered a severe concussion and a bad shock. It's been inevitable that all the adrenalin would run out sooner rather than later. I'm just amazed he held it together this long. I'm glad you called. I just gave him a stronger pain and nausea medication. He should sleep for several more hours and with any luck, he'll be feeling better."

"Good." Jack rubbed his eyes.

"You've been doing a great job, Colonel." Janet smiled, touching his arm. She glanced at her watch. "Well, Cassie and I have a day-long shopping mission planned. We'll come back around six or so. We'll bring dinner."

"Sounds great!" Jack smiled.

"Pizza?"

Jack nodded. "Perfect."

"Good. I can take another look at Daniel then and give him another dose to get him through the night."

"Thanks, Janet."

She nodded, stopping in the kitchen, smiling at the sight of a clandestine conversation between Teal'c and Cassie over chocolate cake. The teen was smiling and looked a lot happier than Janet had seen her look since Janet had told her about Daniel's wife. After they finished their cake, Cassie gave Teal'c a kiss on the cheek, bounced over to give Jack another hug and a kiss. Janet led the way back to the hall. Cassie paused, waved at Sam, wanting desperately to see Daniel, yet a bit afraid to disturb him. She followed Janet out to the car.

"Mom?" she asked as they buckled their seatbelts.

"Yeah, hon?" Janet looked over her shoulder as she backed out of the driveway.

"Is Daniel going to be ok?"

Janet nodded, "Yes, he is. He's just had a bad head injury and he's in a lot of pain right now."

"He misses Sha're really bad, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, sweetie, he does."

"Can I look for a present for him when we get to the mall?"

"Sure."

"Maybe some chocolate or coffee?"

"I'm sure he will like that very much."

"Good." Cassie settled back in her seat. "He gave me my first chocolate bar when I got here."

"I remember." Janet smiled. _And another Chocoholic was born._

* * *

The day passed relatively slowly for Jack, Sam and Teal'c. Jack and Teal'c finished their first game of chess and were engaged in a second while Sam completed her report on the chemical she had been analyzing from P63-4G39. They snacked on the junk food Sam had bought the night before; Jack declaring that Teal'c could bake a cake anytime he wanted. Sam feigned offense at his words, but she knew that Teal'c was likely a much better cook than she was. Even with a box mix.

They spent as much time glancing at Daniel as they did doing anything else. Jack was concerned, but a heck of a lot less so since Janet had been by. He knew from personal experience how bad a concussion could make a person feel, and Ammonet had given Daniel a humdinger of a concussion. He smiled as Sam glanced at Daniel for the hundredth time that hour. Suddenly she sighed and rubbed her eyes. She deposited the laptop on the table and stood and stretched.

"Carter?"

"Stiff, sir." She answered, looking one more time at Daniel. "I think I'm going to go for a run before Janet gets back. I need to move for a bit."

Teal'c looked up at her, feeling stiff himself. He had not been training in the past five days and was feeling uncomfortable with the lack of physical activity. "I would be pleased to accompany you, MajorCarter. I too feel the need for activity."

She smiled, "Thanks, Teal'c. Sounds good. You ok to stay, sir?"

Jack nodded, completing his move, then rising to stretch himself. He waved his hand, "Go on, Sam. I think I'll just clean up around here for a bit."

"Ok." She nodded, heading for the door and her sneakers. Teal'c joined her, pulling a baseball cap down over his head.

Jack watched them go, and then grabbed a stack of the dishes that were scattered in all places around the room. He smiled. They might be able to save the world, but they were just as messy as any normal family on the planet. He glanced at Daniel who was still sleeping undisturbed, then headed for the kitchen. It took him twenty minutes to clean everything up. He turned on the dishwasher, and stepped back into the living room. He grabbed the remote and was about to see if there was a game on when he heard a soft sigh.

Dropping to the coffee table, he saw Daniel stirring, instinctively raising his hand to his head.

"Hey." He said softly.

Daniel squeezed his eyes tightly, and then opened them cautiously, searching for the source of the voice. Jack could tell he was still extremely drugged and not able to focus on anything. But after a few seconds, he did at least get his eyes pointed in Jack's direction.

"Jack?" He asked, his voice weak and slurred.

"The one and only." Jack smiled.

"Sha're?"

Jack sighed.

"Not a dream." Daniel continued, pressing his hand to his forehead.

"No, Daniel, not a dream."

"I didn't think so." Daniel shut his eyes and sighed heavily.

Jack studied him silently, waiting.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I feel funny."

"Janet doped you up."

"Oh."

"Any pain?"

"Just a dull throb."

"Do you feel sick?"

Daniel hesitated, taking stock of his feelings. He felt strange, like he was floating in a mist, yet also feeling so heavy that it took nearly all his strength just to think. He opened his eyes and blinked at Jack. "No, just funny."

Jack smiled, "Good. Funny is good. You were a mess earlier."

"I don't remember Janet being here."

"She gave you an injection because you were feeling so awful. She and Cassie are coming back in awhile for dinner."

Daniel shifted on the couch, his eyes looking just a bit more clear than they had earlier, Jack thought. Jack continued, "Sam and Teal'c went for a run. I think they were getting tired of sitting around."

"Me too."

"Yeah?"

"I feel stiff."

"You've been lying on that couch for hours." Jack smiled, "Little wonder."

"Help me up."

Jack frowned, "You sure?"

"Jack, I can't feel my butt."

Jack grinned, "Ok, but we take it slow."

"Whatever." Daniel waved his hand weakly, "Just get me up or I'm going to be a cripple."

Jack felt immense relief at his friend's words. Daniel was sounding just a bit better, he thought. And he sympathized. Having spent plenty of quality time camped out on that same couch, Jack knew it was comfy and cozy…for awhile. He pulled the blanket off and Daniel struggled to roll onto his side, face contorted with the effort. He stayed completely still for a few moments, breathing heavily. Jack didn't rush him.

"Ok." Daniel whispered, swinging his legs over the side and attempting to push himself up.

Jack grabbed his shoulders and, very slowly, helped ease him upright. He moved in a painfully slow manner, knowing that sitting up too fast would only give Daniel a vicious head rush.

"Oh crap, oh crap." Daniel moaned as he leaned forward, pressing both hands to his head.

"You ok?" Jack asked, hands still on Daniel's shoulders.

"Dizzy."

"Just hold still for a few minutes. You haven't been upright in a long time and you've got the good stuff in your system. Enough to make anyone dizzy."

Jack sat back on the table seeing that Daniel was securely sitting upright. After about five silent minutes, Daniel sank back against the cushions and dropped his hands to the couch and he forced his eyes open again. He looked at Jack and gave the barest hint of a smile, then looked around the room blankly. He frowned.

"Where are my glasses?"

Jack reached behind himself and grabbed them from the table. He handed them to Daniel.

"Thanks." Daniel said, putting them on with badly shaking hands. The world still looked blurry and indistinct, but at least the general shapes were a bit less fuzzy. He frowned, "Sam and Teal'c?"

"Out for a run."

"When did they get here?"

Jack smiled, "They came over last night and brought Chinese and some movies."

Daniel raised his eyebrows, "I don't remember."

"You were pretty out of it."

"I think I still am." Daniel smiled again briefly.

Jack laughed. "Yeah, I'd say you are."

"Jack."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. Thanks for being with me through all of this."

Jack sobered, "You don't have to keep thanking me, Daniel. You don't have to go through something like this alone. And you're welcome."

Daniel smiled again for a second. Jack thought it looked like it took an awful lot of effort just to do that.

"I can't believe she's gone."

Jack clasped his hands tightly. "I can't either."

"Even though it's been three years, and it didn't always keep me up every single night anymore, I really always thought I'd get her back." Daniel spoke very quietly.

"So did I. Daniel, you did everything humanly possible to save Sha're. She knew that."

"Yes, she did." Daniel nodded. He felt the tears threatening to spill over. He didn't want to go there. Not yet. His head hurt too much.

Jack sensed that Daniel was very near the edge and could tell he didn't want to fall over. So he interrupted, "Daniel? You want something to drink?"

Daniel was grateful for the change of topic, "Please."

"You feel like anything else?" Jack asked, pausing as he got up.

Daniel considered for a moment. He didn't feel hungry, but he knew vaguely that he should be hungry. "I'll try something."

"Sandwich?"

"Sure."

Jack smiled, hurrying to the kitchen. A short time later, he was back. Daniel seemed to have dozed off in his absence. He nudged Daniel's knee with his own and Daniel opened his eyes, looking a bit disoriented. Jack held out the water bottle and Daniel reached for it.

Taking a cautious sip, he was pleased that the water settled ok on his stomach. He accepted the sandwich gingerly. As Daniel cautiously nibbled, Jack gave him a nutshell version of the last day or so. Jack noted with amusement that everything, from the all night sports and nightmare marathon, to the drive in the country, to the bush-whacking episode and Teal'c's cake were news to Daniel.

"I've been more out of it than I thought." Daniel sighed, settling his head back on the couch. "I don't really remember any of that."

Jack nodded, taking the empty plate and depositing it on the coffee table. "Yeah, you've been a model patient actually. We knew you were sick."

"I better start complaining then, eh?"

"Might convince us you're gonna be ok." Jack smiled.

"Ok. But right now I'm too tired to complain."

"You wanna lay back down?"

"No, I'm good right here." They sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Daniel glanced at Jack again, "Jack, you don't have to stay right with me. I'm not going anywhere." He waved his hand and said absently, "Go rake your yard or something."

Jack smiled, "I guess I could do that. You sure you'll be ok?"

"I'm not moving." Daniel assured him, closing his eyes.

"Ok. I'll be back in a bit."

"Ok."

Jack nodded, satisfied that his friend would be all right. He headed out to the yard. A few more leaves had fallen and he found that he was actually very eager to do something physical. He was so occupied in his work that he almost didn't hear the car pull up in the driveway. Pausing, he listened carefully and heard Cassie's eager voice. Smiling, he left the rake against the porch and headed inside.

Daniel was in exactly the same spot he'd left him and looked none the worse. The front door opened as he made it half-way through the living room and he saw Cassie and Janet, arms laden with packages. Cassie grinned at him, dumping her sack and giving him a big hug.

"Hey, Cass. Did you bring me anything to eat?"

"We've got popcorn and chocolate!" She said.

"Sounds great!" He smiled, as she stayed wrapped against him, arms tight around his waist. He knew she was scared. He looked at her, "Cassie, you wanna go see Daniel? I think he'd like to see you."

Cassie's eyes lit up, "Really? Is he feeling better?"

"A little. Just don't talk too loud, his head still hurts."

"Ok!" She nodded, tiptoeing into the living room.

Janet had slipped into the kitchen and stopped at Jack's side as he watched the teen enter the living room. She asked, "How is he doing?"

"Better, I think. He woke up maybe 30 minutes ago. Your drugs are great cuz his only complaint was that he felt funny. He's sitting up and he looks a bit better and has kept half a sandwich and some water down."

Janet smiled in relief, "Good." She turned and he followed her back to the living room.

Cassie was perched on the coffee table across from Daniel, obviously uncertain whether or not she should disturb him. His eyes were closed and he didn't seem to notice her presence. Jack sat down next to Daniel on the couch and tapped his arm.

"Daniel." He said, "Cassie and Janet are here."

Daniel opened his eyes slowly. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. He saw Cassie sitting across from him and he smiled, lifting his arms for a hug. Cassie's worried face turned to a smile, and she almost leapt into his arms. She hugged him gently, then positioned herself at his left side, snuggled under his left arm.

"Daniel! I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Me too, Cassie."

He turned his head slightly to look at her and she wriggled closer to him, putting her mouth close to his ear. "I'm sorry about Sha're, Daniel."

"Thank you." He whispered.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

For a few moments they sat together quietly, their heads pressed together. Janet sank onto the coffee table and exchanged small smiles with Jack. Cassie stirred, rubbing Daniel's arm.

"I brought you presents." She whispered in his ear.

He smiled, knowing exactly what she'd brought him.

"You can save them for later if you don't feel so great right now."

"Thanks, Cass."

"So, Daniel." Janet smiled, touching his knee. "How are you doing?"

He moved his head slowly to look over at her. "Hi Janet. I feel ok."

"Any nausea or pain?"

He closed his eyes. "Not too much."

"How much is not too much?" Janet pressed, knowing that _not too much_ could mean anything from a minor headache to the pain from a few shattered bones. "Scale of 1-10?"

"Seven. But that's a lot better than before."

"Uh huh." Janet didn't look convinced. He did look just a shade better than he had earlier, but he still looked like death warmed over. She smiled, "How about some medicine? Do you think you can keep a pill down?"

"Yes."

"Good. Cassie and I picked up some Gatorade and some soup. You need to try to get some fluids down or you're only going to get worse. I think you should try to eat something more."

"Ok."

Janet nodded and headed to the kitchen. Jack saw that Cassie was not going to relinquish her hold on Daniel for awhile and, smiling, left Daniel in her care. He heard Janet opening doors in his kitchen. _She seems right at home_, he thought to himself with a smile. He grabbed a can of soup and the can opener.

"So, doc?" He asked casually as she brought a spoon and pan to the stove.

She sighed, "He's going to be fine, Jack. It's just going to take time. The more we can encourage him to take fluids and eat the better it will be. He doesn't need to be battling low blood sugar on top of everything." She accepted the soup and put it in the pan. She looked at Jack.

"How are you holding up, sir?"

Jack laughed softly, "Oh, hanging in there. Not the easiest week of my life."

"Have you gotten any sleep?"

"Here and there. Ask Carter, apparently I got a good night's sleep last night. Missed Godzilla tromping through Tokyo."

Janet laughed, "Teal'c's choice?"

"Oh yeah."

"Well I'm glad to hear you got some sleep. You look a little ragged."

"I look downright healthy next to Daniel." He muttered, pulling a package of cookies from one of Janet's bags. "I gotta say you and Sam are doing a fine job of keeping me stocked with junk food."

"There's also some fruit and fresh salad in the other bag, Jack. Don't get too excited."

He took a bite out of a cookie, sneering at the other bag. He suddenly heard the front door opening. Giving Janet a quick kiss on the cheek and leaving her in charge of the soup, he headed out to meet Sam and Teal'c. Sam looked at him, a silent question in her eyes.

Jack smiled, "Cass is with him, he's looking a bit better. Janet's got soup on the stove and pizza on the table."

"Great!" Sam smiled, tugging off her sneakers.

Teal'c headed straight for the living room to see for himself how much better Daniel was really doing. Satisfied with seeing Cassie snuggled close to his side and his head resting on hers, Teal'c smiled ever so briefly at the girl, then returned to the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, they were all settled around the coffee table in the living room eating dinner. Conversation was quiet but pleasant. Everyone was feeling a bit more relaxed and at ease for the first time that week.

Daniel was immensely grateful for his friend's presence. His head ached terribly and he was forcing himself to eat Janet's soup, but he felt better than he had since…_No, don't go there._ He warned himself. His expression must have revealed his thoughts because he felt Jack's gaze and saw the understanding in his eyes. He couldn't even attempt to force a smile to assure Jack he was fine. He just took a deep breath and tried to listen to Cassie's discussion with Sam about her upcoming science project.

Jack wondered if Daniel was ready for everyone to be gone and to have some private moments to himself, then saw him reach out for Sam's hand. She was sitting next to him, her hand laying on the cushion between them. She took his hand immediately, squeezing it and scooting closer to him. Jack felt immense relief. They _were_ exactly what Daniel needed. He wanted them near him, needed their support desperately. Settling back in his seat, Jack knew they were doing the right thing.

After the pizza was gone, Janet exchanged glances with Jack and then looked back at Daniel who was beginning to look decidedly uncomfortable and exhausted. She got up, reaching for her medical kit. She told Cassie to start getting ready to go. Cassie made a very small show of being disappointed and whiny, but it was just a token demonstration. She knew full well that Daniel needed to rest. She climbed back on the couch and whispered her good bye to Daniel, kissing him on the cheek.

Janet sat on the coffee table, her ubiquitous syringe in her hand. She smiled as Daniel struggled to simply keep his eyes open. "Daniel, I'm going to give you another injection like earlier. It will help with the pain and nausea and hopefully give you a long, good night's sleep."

"I'm ok with that." He forced a smile. Even her needles didn't bother him right now. He just wanted the blackness to envelop him and take away the misery.

"Good. Now, I expect you to be in bed within the next twenty minutes. This stuff is going to knock you out pretty quick."

He nodded, then gave her hand a quick squeeze in thanks.

She rose, smiling at the others, then followed Cassie to the door. She spoke softly to Jack and Sam who were positioned at the door. "Get him to bed right away. He should sleep well, but call me if anything comes up or if you need me. I expect a call sometime tomorrow, no matter what."

"You got it." Jack nodded.

"Thanks so much, Janet!" Sam smiled, hugging her friend.

Hugs were exchanged with Cassie, then she and Janet headed out for the night.

Sam started picking up some of the dishes and pizza boxes. Jack headed for the couch and tapped Daniel's shoulder. His eyes were already closed. He blinked groggily when Jack touched him. He looked incredibly tired and disoriented all of a sudden.

"Bed, Daniel." Jack said softly.

"Ok." Daniel acknowledged agreeably but didn't move a muscle, his eyes sliding closed again. Jack couldn't help but smile.

"Teal'c." Jack called, the Jaffa immediately at his side. "Let's get him up."

Together, they managed to get Daniel on his feet. Sam smiled sympathetically, watching them make their unsteady way down the hall to the bathroom. She could hear Jack insisting on standing guard outside the bathroom. She was amused to hear Daniel insisting he was fine. _Well that at least sounds more like him._

By the time she finished the kitchen, Teal'c had rejoined her, sampling the cookies with gusto. She looked at him, "Teal'c? How's Daniel?"

"He is settled comfortably."

"Good." She nodded, grabbing her own cookie and joining Teal'c on the couch. He had switched on the television, turning it to a crime drama. Sam curled up next to him, paying very little attention to the show, straining instead to hear any sound from the guest bedroom.

Two hours later, Sam yawned for the twentieth time and Teal'c turned off the television. She looked at him in surprise. "Teal'c?"

"You are very tired, Samantha Carter."

"Yep. I think I'm ready for bed."

"Indeed."

Ten minutes later, having decided she was not going home tonight, Sam changed into her pajamas and brushed her teeth. She softly snuck into the guest bedroom. _Ah, that's why it's been so quiet._ Sam smiled. Jack was sound asleep, leaning back in a chair, arms folded, his feet up on the nightstand. A glance at Daniel assured her that he was also sound asleep. She looked back at Jack. He needed to go to bed. He'd slept the previous night in a chair. He was going to be in as bad shape as Daniel if he didn't get some quality sleep.

She looked at Teal'c, posted at Jack's side, for confirmation. He nodded. Sam gently touched Jack's shoulder. "Sir?"

He woke with a start, dropping his feet, hand going out to Daniel's arm in an instinctive gesture that brought tears to Sam's eyes. He frowned, then looked over his shoulder. "Sam?"

"Sir, you should go to bed. You're exhausted."

"I can't leave him, Sam." He whispered.

"I'll stay with him." She whispered back. "I'll stay here, you go get some good sleep."

"You'll get me if…"

"If he calls for you I'll come get you, Jack."

Jack wavered, looking for a long moment at Daniel, then abruptly making up his mind. He stood up, yawned and nodded to Sam. "Ok. Thanks, Sam."

"No problem. Get some sleep, sir."

He nodded absently and headed for his bedroom. Sam was right. _As she usually is._ He reflected. He was beat. Even with the relatively good night's sleep he'd had last night, he felt the weariness weighing heavily on him. He felt incredibly guilty about leaving Daniel's side. Knowing that Teal'c had taken up a position on the floor at the foot of the bed for Kel'nor'reem and that Sam was going to stay with Daniel finally gave him the peace he needed to fall into a deep sleep in his own bed.

Sam watched Teal'c close his eyes in meditation. She quietly walked around to the other side of the bed and carefully crawled under the covers. Trying not to disturb Daniel, she lay on her side watching him silently. After a few moments, she felt sleep overcome her.

* * *

Sam woke with a start. She felt movement beside her and realized suddenly that Daniel was having a nightmare. She sat up, gently shaking his shoulder and calling his name. He was calling out in Abydonian and seeming unaware of her presence. She saw Teal'c standing up out of the corner of her eye. She called to Daniel again, shaking him a bit harder. She felt more than a little nervous. She wasn't normally the one waking Daniel up from his nightmares.  
"Daniel." She looked up at the sudden voice. Jack had just stumbled into the room, rubbing his face, hair rumpled. She hadn't even heard him come in. He sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed Daniel's shoulders, "Daniel." He repeated, "Wake up."

Fighting a bit longer, Daniel finally dragged himself awake at the sound of Jack's voice. He lay still, forcing bleary eyes open, searching the room. He locked eyes with Jack almost immediately. He asked softly, "Jack is everything going to be ok?"

"Yeah, Daniel, it's going to be ok. Just go back to sleep." Jack had no idea what Daniel was asking would be ok or not, but at the moment, he really didn't feel like it mattered that much. He sat back and rubbed his eyes again.

"You should get sleep, Jack, looks like crap." Daniel muttered, barely coherent.

Jack laughed, "Thanks. I had no idea."

Daniel shifted just a little and suddenly saw Sam. He smiled, "Hi, Sam."

"Hi, Daniel." She smiled back uncertainly.

"Go back to sleep, it's ok." He said, touching her arm. She lay back down, watching his eyes close, then looked up at Jack. He grinned and shrugged. _How should I know what's going on in his head?_ He stood up, "Good night, Carter."

"Night, sir." She smiled. Teal'c watched the proceedings silently, and then returned to his post as Jack headed back to his room.


	9. Chapter 9

It was about eight the next morning when Jack woke up. Hearing no noises from the house, he took a quick shower and got dressed. He noted that it was pouring rain outside as he headed out of his room. By now, he could hear noises in the kitchen. _Someone was hungry_. He paused at the guest room on his way down the hall. The door was ajar and he poked his head in. He grinned.

Sam and Daniel were still asleep. Sam was sleeping with her head mashed into her pillow, buried from the sun, but her hand was on Daniel's arm. They looked for all the world like a couple of errant siblings who stayed up way past their bedtime despite their parent's warnings. Yawning, he turned and headed for the kitchen and Teal'c's homecooking.

"Teal'c." He said.

"O'Neill." Teal'c turned from the stove where he was scrambling eggs. He was, of course, wearing his apron. Jack steeled himself with a neutral expression, fighting down the amused grin. "Are you hungry?"

"Indeed I am, T." Jack clasped his hands, "Smells good."

"I am glad you find the scent acceptable." Teal'c nodded, reaching for a plate.

Jack poured two glasses of juice and microwaved some sausage links. They filled their plates and sat at the table. They ate silently, watching the rain. After awhile, Jack heard movement from the other end of the house and soft voices. He heard Carter giggle and some more conversation. A few moments later, he heard the bathroom door close and the shower start.

Sipping his coffee and looking at the paper, which Teal'c had thoughtfully brought in earlier, Jack handed the comics to the Jaffa absently. He kept the sports pages for himself. Teal'c accepted wordlessly, eager to turn to his favorites.

Twenty minutes later, Carter made her appearance, hair still slightly damp. She was wearing a sweatshirt she had long ago "borrowed" from Jack's selection. She smiled at them as she hit the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

"Morning, Carter."

"Morning, Sir, Teal'c." She said, grabbing a plate and some food while she was there.

She joined them at the table and Jack dropped his paper. "So, how'd you sleep?"

"Fine, sir. You?"

"Well after the little intermission, much better. Daniel?"

"He slept well the rest of the night." She said, shaking her head. "He looks like he's got the world's worst hangover this morning, though."

"He going to stay in bed?"

"He's up. He wanted to get a shower then try to eat some breakfast." She continued quickly, seeing Jack's frown, "He looked a lot more steady on his feet this morning."

"I hope so. He feeling ok?"

"More or less. He said his head didn't hurt nearly as much and he actually said he thought he might possibly be hungry."

Jack snorted, "_Might possibly be_?" He turned back to his paper, automatically removing the science and industry section and tossing it at Carter.

They ready in companionable silence. Another thirty minutes later, and Jack heard a familiar thump in the hallway. He was on his feet automatically, before Sam even could rise from her chair, and he made it to the hall in no time. His tension eased somewhat as he saw that Daniel was only leaning against the wall and wasn't on the ground.

"Daniel?"

"Jack."

"You ok?"Jack cocked his head.

"More or less." His eyes were still bloodshot and the dark circles were still there. His hair was damp like Carter's and he looked mildly confused. "I can't find my glasses."

"In the living room." Jack said, reaching out a hand. "Wanna join us at the table?"

"Sure."

They made their way to the dining room, and Jack waited till Daniel slumped into a chair at the table next to Sam, then headed for the living room for his glasses. When he got back, he found Daniel with his head pillowed on his arms on the tabletop. Raising his eyebrows at Sam, Jack put the glasses in the middle of the table.

"Daniel, are you sure you want to be up?" Jack asked, only slightly amused by how quickly his friend had put his head down. He knew that the headache was still there.

"No." Came Daniel's muffled reply, "I wish I were dead."

Sam's eyes widened as she looked at Jack. Jack dropped heavily into the chair at the end of the table to Daniel's right. He sighed, completely unsure how to respond to that. Finally, he decided to go with simple, "You should take some medicine."

"Fine."

Raising his eyebrows again, Jack was only mildly surprised by the terse remark. He reached for the bar where the army of pill bottles stood neatly arranged. He tapped out two pills and then touched Daniel's arm. "Here."

Daniel pushed himself up with effort, eyes bleary. He struggled to pick up the pills with shaking hands. He accepted the glass of water Teal'c provided wordlessly. As soon as he finished his drink, he pushed the glass away and his head went down again. Sam frowned, totally unsure what to do or say. She looked to Jack again. He shrugged at her. _I may be your CO but what makes you think I'm a grief counselor?_ He thought to himself. And he knew he was on the right track. He could read it clearly all over Daniel's face and in his clipped words.

Reality was setting in rapidly.

Now that the initial shock and agony of the concussion were beginning to wear off, all the emotional pain was beginning to surface. _Oh, it's going to be an interesting day._ Jack thought morosely. He debated saying anything, then finally decided to brave the dangerous waters.

"Daniel?" He received a noncommittal humph. "You want something to eat?"

"No."

"Ok. Well, if you want something, let us know. We're just reading the paper here." He reached for his section, seeing Sam's uncertain gaze. He shrugged again. _Give him space._ He tried to tell her with his expression. Considering the circumstances, he felt it was a good sign that Daniel had even made the effort to join them at the table. He needed them and he knew it, even if he didn't need anything other than their presence.

So they sat in silence, broken only by the thunder and rain outside and the rustling of the newspaper. Jack reread almost every paragraph as he zoned out periodically thinking about the past week and what Daniel was going through. Bitter memories of Charlie's death had been plaguing him all week. Shaking the page, he tried to analyze the scores and forget the past. They had been reading for almost twenty minutes when, Daniel pushed himself up just a pinch, resting his head in his hands.

He finally whispered, "It hurts."

"Your head?" Sam asked, realizing as soon as she'd said it that that wasn't it at all.

Jack saw the barest hint of a smile on Daniel's face. "That too." He whispered, then sat back in the chair, hands dropping to the table. He stared blankly straight ahead into the kitchen. "I feel so empty."

Jack felt a familiar knot in his stomach. He knew that feeling too well.

"I feel like I can't breathe." Daniel whispered forlornly, still staring at the kitchen wall.

"Daniel, I'm so sorry." Sam said, still holding his arm.

"I know. I do. I know it's no one's fault, I know it's the way it is. I _know_ all that." Daniel said, voice devoid of emotion. "But it doesn't help."

"Nope. It doesn't." Jack finally said, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know what to do." Daniel said, even softer than before, his eyes falling to the table top.

"And you won't, for awhile." Jack acknowledged. "You know as well as I do that it's going to be a rough road. But we get through, one moment at a time."

For the first time, Daniel raised his eyes and looked at Jack. They studied each other for a very long moment. Sam watched in amazement and once again wished she possessed the mental telepathy abilities that they did. She didn't have a clue what they were saying to each other in that silent look, but she knew they were saying a lot more than words could have. And whatever it was they said, Daniel suddenly smiled, albeit a very small smile.

"So, what do I do _this_ moment?" He asked.

"Eat." Jack grinned. "Teal'c made a great home cooked breakfast. Wanna sample?"

"Sure." Teal'c rose at his word to grab him a plate, but Daniel stopped him, "Teal'c."

The Jaffa turned back and looked silently at Daniel. The weight of the world was evident in his expression. He felt ill at having caused Sha're's death.

"Teal'c, I want you to understand something." Daniel's voice was slow and very quiet. "I really do understand why you did what you did. It was the only way. I know that. And I want you to know, I'm saying this because I truly believe it and not just because Sha're asked me to forgive you. I'm grateful for what you did and for your friendship." He drew a very shaky breath, as if the effort of talking that much had worn him out, but his expression was steady. He truly wanted Teal'c to know there was nothing whatsoever wrong between them.

Teal'c looked as close to tears as Jack thought he'd ever seen him. He spoke finally, "Thank you, Daniel Jackson. I am truly honored with your friendship." He bowed slightly, then hurried into the kitchen.

Daniel rubbed his eyes, then turned to Sam with a smile. She reached out and gave him a hug which he returned. After a moment, he sat back again heavily in the chair. He closed his eyes. Jack could tell he was still exhausted. The physical and emotional exertion he was under was taking its toll. Teal'c returned with a plate of eggs and sausage.

Daniel opened his eyes and looked at it completely disinterestedly, but he made the effort to pick up the fork. Before he had taken his first bite, he asked softly, "Coffee?"

"Sure." Jack said, headed for the kitchen. He poured a cup and set it in front of Daniel who instantly reached for it.

"Thanks." Daniel smiled slightly.

"Welcome." Jack said, smoothing the newspaper.

Sam started talking about an article she had read and Jack began arguing with her about how obsessive she could be. Their easy banter helped Daniel relax to a point. His head was pounding so he forced himself to focus on the eggs and not keep looking back and forth between Jack and Sam. Nothing tasted good, not even the coffee. He forced himself to eat a few bites, but mostly pushed the food around aimlessly. He actually wasn't even feeling nauseated at the moment. Just completely lacking in appetite.

He knew without having to be told that everyone was closely, but subtly, watching him eat. They had been great, all of them. He was immensely grateful for their friendship and that they were there for him. But he suddenly really wanted to be alone. After a few more forced bites and another sip of coffee, which was also, unusually forced, Daniel gave up.

"I'm gonna lay down." He said, pushing his chair back and turning to the living room.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked.

"Yes. Thanks for breakfast, Teal'c."

He walked slowly to the couch, feeling dizzy again. Sinking down on it, he intended to stay sitting up, but realized he was more worn out than he had thought. _I just slept more last night then I do normally. Why am I so exhausted? _He spread out and pulled a pillow over his head. He just wanted to be left alone for awhile and he figured Jack would understand.

Jack and Sam exchanged glances. It had not escaped their notice that Daniel had only taken two sips of his coffee. _That's just not right._ Jack shrugged at Sam. There was nothing they were going to do to force Daniel to eat at this time. Peering out into the living room, he saw the pillow positioned over his friend's face and interpreted it correctly. _Leave me alone._

Sam started silently cleaning up the dishes and Teal'c followed her into the kitchen. Jack folded up his newspaper and stared out at the rain. After a few minutes, they finished cleaning up and looked uncertainly at each other.

"Poker?" Jack suggested after a moment.

"You feeling lucky, sir?" Sam asked with a smile.

"Always." Jack answered, his smile half-hearted.

Teal'c grabbed the deck out of the drawer in the kitchen that Jack kept all his random pieces of what-nots. They settled at the table and Sam dealt the first hand. As they played several rather subdued games of poker, they could hear Daniel tossing and turning on the couch. Winning a hand to Sam's dismay, Jack got up and headed for the kitchen. He heard Teal'c shuffling the deck. He grabbed a bag of chips and two beers and a soda. He dropped the chips on the table and spread the bottles out. He opened his and spared a side trip to peek into the other room. Sipping his beer, he saw that the defensive barrier of the pillow had slid to the floor and Daniel seemed to have finally found a comfortable position. _Or else he was just finally so worn out that it no longer mattered. _Sighing quietly, he headed back to the table.

Sam was distractedly munching some chips and studying her cards. Jack picked up his hand and said. "Well, T. I hope you didn't stack the deck just cuz Carter gave you her puppy dog eyes."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "I would never do such a thing, O'Neill."

"I know, Teal'c. Carter was hoping though."

"Sir." She said, "I don't need Teal'c to cheat for me to beat you. This round is mine."

And it was.

Jack really did wonder if there was a chance Carter and Teal'c _were_ conspiring against him. Teal'c had an amused angle to his eyebrow and Jack could swear Carter's eyes were sparking. _More than usual._ He dealt the next hand and Sam won again. He saluted her cocky grin with his beer bottle. Sam grabbed the deck to shuffle and they heard a soft moan from the living room. Automatically looking at his watch and counting the hours, Jack was slightly surprised at how much time had passed. Daniel was due for a pain pill any time.

Allowing Teal'c to shuffle, Jack grabbed a bottle of Gatorade and the pill bottle from the counter. He sat back down and waited to see if Daniel was going to make an appearance or not. Enough time passed that they played another round, which Carter again won. Jack was beginning to wonder if Daniel had fallen asleep again. A moment later, though, Daniel stumbled in and practically collapsed in the open chair. _Sooner or later, he's got to start looking better._ Jack thought. But he sure wasn't looking better yet.

He stared at the table, not looking at anyone. Jack pushed the Gatorade and two of the pills toward Daniel. Staring at them for a long moment, he finally sighed and took the pills. His head was hurting, but the pills left him in a haze and nauseated. In a way, he didn't actually mind the haze. The haze was better than the thinking.

"You wanna play a round with us?" Jack's voice broke into his thoughts. He shrugged. He didn't want to, but he knew they were trying to help.

He accepted the cards, then asked, "Coffee?"

"Sure." Sam practically jumped out of her chair. She quickly reheated the cup he'd barely touched earlier. He nodded his thanks and took a sip, staring at his cards blankly. He frowned, then felt Jack tapping his arm. He was holding Daniel's glasses. Taking them with another silent nod, he put them on even though they really didn't help him see any better. His vision still wavered between the very blurry and the occasional double vision. He took another sip of the coffee and tried hard to concentrate on the game.

He needed the distraction.

The others were thinking the same thing. It wasn't easy to keep up any sort of conversation, but they tried. It was painfully obvious that it was taking enormous effort for Daniel to focus on the game. Jack knew his friend was barely functioning as he tried his hardest to make sensible plays. Everyone ignored the obvious mistakes that Daniel was making. Jack was just pleased that Daniel had even been willing to try. It was obvious that he was having trouble seeing clearly. No one was surprised when he finally folded.

As if the very last of his strength had just been sapped, Daniel once again lowered his head to pillow on his arms on the table, sighing quietly. Sam wanted to cry. Memories of her mother's death flooded her suddenly. She wasn't sure what Daniel needed right now. When her mom had died, she had been so angry that she had shut everyone out of her life for a very long time, saving her tears for herself and her darkened room.

Jack half-wished Daniel would just go back to bed. He knew how miserable he was feeling and watching him suffer was really wearing on him. But the other half of him was immensely relieved that Daniel hadn't completely shut them out. _This could be going a whole lot worse, _he realized. That Daniel was still making a conscious effort to seek their support was a testament to how strong the bonds of their friendship had grown. Jack grabbed the deck again and shuffled, watching Daniel closely. He was simply lying there very still. Jack wondered if he was going to fall asleep right there.

_Apparently not._ Jack thought a split second late as his friend dragged himself up with great effort and moved toward the hall. "You all right?" Jack called out.

His only answer was a brief wave of Daniel's hand as he stumbled down the hallway. For a moment, Jack silently listened, and, exchanging glances with Teal'c and Sam, he knew they were too. After a moment, he recognized the sound of Daniel collapsing onto the guest bed. With a small smile at Sam, Jack shrugged and dealt.

"Sir?" Sam asked, accepting the cards.

"Yeah?" Jack frowned at his lousy hand.

"Shouldn't we give Janet a call?"

Jack glanced at his watch. "Probably. She'll be calling here soon enough if I don't. After this hand."

They played in silence for a bit. Sam struggled to keep silent. It was all getting to be a strain. Jack could see the emotions playing all over her face. He waited to see if she was going to break the silence. Finally, she asked softly, "Are we doing the right thing, sir?"

"Yes." Jack said instantly.

Sam was a bit taken aback at how quick he replied. She held his gaze, seeing he was very sure of himself. Again, she marveled at how well the two men knew each other. Despite the fact that on any given day, they could get into arguments that could make her cringe, they always ended as friends. If Jack said they were doing the right thing, then she was confident that they were.

Jack could almost hear her thoughts. He said quietly, "What he needs right now is to have us just be here for him. He needs space and time to figure this all out on his own. I think today's first time he's even started to really be able to think about what happened with a halfway clear mind." He paused, then shook his head, "It's going to be a difficult few months."

Sam nodded, tears in her eyes. She started to brush them away, then realized she had unwillingly opened the floodgates. Hating herself for breaking down in front of her CO, Sam practically ran out of the room and out the front door. She made it as far as the front steps, and sat down, the emotion she had been holding in for days finally erupting unbidden. Sobbing, she didn't hear the door open behind her.

"Sam." Jack's voice was gentle and she found herself suddenly wrapped up in his arms, crying all over his shirt. Hating herself for her emotion, she surprised herself by wrapping her arms around him and crying even harder.

Jack was not surprised at the depth of Sam's sorrow. She was like Daniel's sister and she was hurting deeply for him. He stroked her hair as she burrowed her head on his chest, sobs shaking her shoulders. He looked out at the pouring rain despondently, feeling a deep, painful ache in his own chest. They sat there for awhile as Sam slowly got a handle on her grief. He held on to her tight, letting her know she didn't have to be strong and brave and hurry away from her sorrow.

"It's ok, Sam." He said, hearing her muffled apology. "You don't have to apologize." He rubbed her back and she sniffed.

"Thank you, sir."

"It's Jack, today, Sam. Just Jack."

"Thank you, Jack." She managed to smile just a little and start to straighten up.

Jack kept his left arm around her shoulders and traced a tear mark down her cheek with his right hand, smiling at her sadly. "You're a good friend, Sam. To all of us."

She rubbed her nose, noting she had thoroughly soaked the left side of Jack's shirt. Inadvertently she found herself giggling with the emotional overload.

"No giggling." Jack waved his finger at her.

She giggled just a little more, then let her head rest on his shoulder, sighing. They stared out at the dismal storm silently for a few minutes. Finally, Sam whispered, "He loves her so much."

"Yes he does." Jack replied, feeling that familiar twisting in his gut. _She was his whole world._

"He told me once that he never in his wildest dreams thought he'd ever find anyone who would love him." Sam said.

"I know."

Sam shifted and looked up at Jack. "Do you two talk about everything?"

"Pretty much." Jack nodded somberly. _In one way or another._

"You guys have to have about the most unique friendship I've ever seen." Sam said honestly. "No offense, sir."

Jack smiled, "Yeah, I guess we do." He shook his head, "Of course, being friends with a real alien from another planet is also pretty unique."

Sam laughed, "True." She took a deep breath, "What a wild ride this is."

Just then, the door opened and the aforementioned alien stepped onto the porch. He had the phone in his hands. Looking quite apologetic, he said softly, "I am sorry to interrupt."

"It's ok, Teal'c." Jack waved him over. "What's up? That the doc?"

"It is not. She called several moments ago and I updated her. This is a call from the SGC for Major Carter."

Sam wiped her eyes and smiled at him, standing up. "Thanks, Teal'c." She grabbed the phone. "This is Carter. What's up?"

Jack stood up as well and asked Teal'c, "Is he still in bed?"

"He is, though I do not think he is sleeping."

"Well, can't you try something else?"

Jack and Teal'c turned their heads and exchanged raised eyebrows as Sam paced the porch, apparently not pleased. "What is the vector? No, no. What are you talking about? Does this guy have even a basic understanding of kinematics?" She shook her head. "Reverse the rotational velocity. You tried that already?" She listened silently for a few more moments, then sighed heavily. "Fine. Keep him away from things and I'll be there shortly. Bye." She hung up the phone in a huff and turned to the two men who were staring at her bemusedly. She looked anything but bemused.

"That was Dr. Lee. Some new physicist, Felger I think, created a problem with the gate system. Bill has been trying to fix it, but they're stuck." She rolled her eyes, "Apparently I'm the _only_ one who can fix the gate."

Jack tried not to laugh. His astrophysicist was particularly dangerous when riled. And she was riled now. He nodded, "So. You have to go save the day?"

Sam took a deep breath. "I guess so."

Jack nodded. "Ok. Don't kill the new guy, eh? You never know, he might just come up with the next great solution to…I don't know, computer viruses?"

Sam smiled dubiously, "Oh I won't kill him." She turned to the door. "Teal'c, you want to come back with me?"

"Yes, thank you Major Carter."

They walked inside and started gathering their things. Sam glanced down the hall, then glanced at Jack. He nodded, "I'll tell him what's up. He'll understand."

"I know." Sam sighed, "I just hate to leave."

"I'll call you later." He offered.

"Ok. Thanks, sir."

"No problem." He nodded to Teal'c. "Thanks for baking the cake."

Teal'c smiled, "I find baking rather relaxing."

"A new hobby, perhaps?" Jack wondered. That kind of hobby he could deal with. _Home baked cakes. Oh yes._

* * *

_Later that evening…_

Jack stared at Daniel as they sat watching the hockey game. The afternoon and evening had passed in a silence that was bordering on oppressive. There was _always _conversation when Daniel was around. _Never ending, often mind-numbing conversation, but conversation nonetheless. _He knew that something was far wrong. _What wasn't?_ He thought to himself. _His wife had been killed in front of his eyes_. What wasn't wrong? But more specifically, _what is wrong now, at this exact moment_, he wondered. He wanted to ask but he wasn't exactly sure if that was the right thing to do. So he waited, quietly. After a few minutes of continued silence, Jack heard Daniel sigh.

Jack continued to stare at Daniel and wait. Finally, Daniel turned his head ever so slightly and met Jack's steady glance. Everything seemed so wrong; but one thing seemed right. His friendship with Jack. The team was what was keeping him together and that was all. He decided to say it aloud; Jack deserved to hear it.

"Jack."

"Daniel?"

"You guys are the only thing holding me together." He said it very quietly, too much louder and the emotions he was holding very tightly would break free.

Jack studied his friend closely and nodded, "I know, Daniel."

"I'm glad it's over." Daniel whispered.

Jack frowned, unsure what Daniel meant, or how to respond.

"I'm glad she's free of the Goa'uld. But, Jack, I'm just so glad it's all over." He looked like he was feeling guilty about his own admission. "It's been torture, not knowing all this time."

"I know. There's no need to feel guilty that you're relieved it's all over." Jack tried to reason.

"Thanks, Jack." Daniel closed his eyes. "I do, you know. Feel guilty. I don't know if I'm ever going to get over this. If I'm ever going to be able to forgive myself for what happened, to stop trying to think about how it could have gone differently. We only had one _year…_" His voice broke at that point.

Jack closed his eyes and sighed. It was not going to be a quick or easy process to get past this pain, but he wasn't going to leave Daniel to go through it on his own. _He's done that too many times before._

"I love her so much." Daniel whispered, mostly to himself. They fell into silence again. Finally, Daniel spoke up, "Jack, I'm going with you tomorrow."

"Where?"

"To the mountain."

Jack tore his gaze from the TV and looked at his friend in surprise, "What? Why?  
"Because I have to, Jack. I have to." Daniel looked as desperate as he sounded, "I _have_ to go back to work. I can't go on like this. I just can't." He rubbed his eyes, "I've got to do something; I have to use my mind on something productive. I have to stop thinking."

Jack studied him, realizing he could see Daniel's point. He just didn't like the thought of Daniel throwing himself back into work in the condition he was in. He still looked like someone who had been ill for a very long time. Nevertheless, Jack remembered well his own grief that had very nearly consumed him. He had spent too much time sitting and thinking and it had practically killed him. He knew Daniel needed to do what he did best: throw himself into some pursuit of knowledge.

"Ok." Jack nodded.

Daniel looked only mildly surprised.

"We'll go in whenever you feel like it tomorrow. But we're leaving early, no arguments." He rolled his eyes, "I'm gonna have enough trouble keeping Janet off your back. She's not going to like it."

"I don't care."

Jack nodded, ignoring the slightly irritable response. He looked back at the TV. A commercial for chicken reminded him that it really was about time for some dinner. "What do you want for supper?" He asked.

After a moment of silence, he glanced over at Daniel, whose eyes were again closed. "Daniel?"

"What?" He didn't open his eyes.

"What do you want to eat?"

"I couldn't care less. Just get whatever you want, you're gonna force me to eat something no matter what."

Jack sighed. "I think I'll run and pick up some burgers." He stood up, "And, Daniel, I won't force you to eat. I do remember feeling the way you feel." He paused, glancing inadvertently at the picture on the wall. _The one with a happy family from a lifetime ago._ "Nothing tasted good for a very long time." He finished softly, heading out to the hall and grabbing his keys.

"Jack." He almost didn't hear the soft call.

"Yeah?" Jack walked back to the living room.

"Chocolate shake."

"You got it." Jack smiled and headed out the door.

* * *

**I would like to thank Wikipedia for the assistance in formulating some Carter technobabble. : )**


	10. Chapter 10

**Monday morning**

The next morning, Jack headed for the kitchen at about 0600 to start the coffee. He hadn't been surprised to see that the guest bedroom was empty. How _long_ it had been empty, however, was the real question. They had gone to bed about ten the night before after a silent, but companionable dinner watching the end of the game. He had slept well for the first time in a week, and hadn't heard any sounds of distress from Daniel's room.

He glanced around the living room and didn't see any sign of his friend. It was still rather dark outside, so he thought he had a pretty good idea where he was. After the coffee was finished, he poured two cups and pulled on a jacket, heading outside. There were still a few stars visible in the early morning sky. He was not surprised to find Daniel sitting up on the roof, head back against the chair, staring up into the blackness.

"Coffee." He said, having made the rather challenging climb up the ladder with two mugs gripped in one hand.

Daniel reacted as if he'd been shot. Obviously he'd been a million miles away. _Or however far exactly Abydos was, _Jack thought.

"Sorry." He said softly.

Taking a deep breath, Daniel rubbed his eyes and accepted the coffee wordlessly.

Jack sat down in the other chair and sipped the steaming coffee, looking up at the breaking dawn. They sat in silence for almost twenty minutes. Jack found himself subtly trying to sneak glances to see how Daniel was doing this morning. From what he saw, it looked like Daniel had gotten about as much sleep last night as he had been getting every other night this week. Insomnia was nothing new to either of them. They finished their coffee, still in silence, until Jack finally decided to break the silence and head in to get breakfast.

Sliding forward, he said, "I'm gonna start breakfast."

Daniel nodded, glancing at him briefly, not moving from where he was slumped in his chair. Jack didn't say anything more, but headed down the ladder. He knew Daniel wouldn't move until he was ready. He headed inside to start some eggs and bacon.

* * *

Daniel sighed after Jack had gone back inside. Somewhere, deep down in the darkest, most secret place in his heart and mind, he had always known he wasn't going to get Sha're back alive. It was his worst nightmare, but it had also been the logical outcome as much as he hated himself for thinking it. He had _known_ the chances were basically nonexistent.

_So why was it so hard now that it had actually happened?_

That was what didn't make a lot of sense. He'd been subconsciously preparing himself for this for almost three years. So why was he having so much trouble accepting it and moving on? He focused on the ripples of pink and orange in the dawn. He'd been without his wife for longer than he'd been _with_ his wife. It didn't make sense that his grief should be so disproportionately debilitating. He had absolutely no idea what to do with himself. He didn't want to talk, didn't even really want to work. And he couldn't sleep. He'd laid awake for several hours before dozing off to a troubled sleep. He finally gave up and had been sitting under the stars since about 0300. He hoped Jack didn't know exactly how long he'd been up. He rubbed his eyes again and decided he'd better head inside. He really did want to get to the safety of his office. A safe place to bury himself in as much work as he could find. _As quickly as he could find it. _He headed down the ladder and inside, feeling achy and sore all over. His head was already starting to pound.

Jack was pulling the juice out of the refrigerator when he heard the front door open. He looked up in time to see Daniel stumble and drop heavily into a chair at the table. His head went down on his arms on the table immediately. If Jack didn't know exactly how bad that meant Daniel was feeling, he would have laughed at the sight that was suddenly becoming commonplace. Instead, he just felt more than a little depressed. He brought out the plates of food and sat down across from Daniel.

After a moment, Daniel picked up his head and accepted the plate Jack gently pushed his way. They ate in silence, Jack correctly feeling that Daniel was not at all looking for conversation this morning. An hour later, still without any conversation, they walked into the SCG. Hitting the buttons for the level that Sam's lab was on, as well as the one for Daniel's lab, Jack leaned back against the wall, trying to think of something to say. The silence was starting to drive him crazy.

When the door opened at his floor, Daniel said simply, "Thanks."

"You bet." Jack watched him make his way slowly toward his lab. Mentally, Jack wrote himself a note to come back in time to drag him to lunch. He rubbed his head as the elevator moved to Sam's level.

He headed down the hall and paused at her door. She had safety glasses on and was doing something that shot sparks all over. He waited till she was done, then said, "Carter."

She looked up and smiled, "Morning sir."

"Whatcha doing?"

"Trying to refine the power generating capabilities on this transphase eradicator rod."

"Ah." He nodded, then suggested, "Bigger and better?"

"More like faster and more powerful."

"Excellent."

She stepped around the desk and pulled off her glasses. He knew she was done with the simple pleasantries. "How was he this morning?"

"Hard to say for sure, Carter. He said one word to me all morning. I don't think he slept very much at all. He did eat a bit for breakfast though."

Sam nodded. "You think he's ok?"

"Not really. I'm gonna make sure I grab him when we head to lunch…I think he needed some time on his own for now."

Sam studied him for a moment. "He's here?

"Yes."

"What…why?" Sam was more than a bit confused and concerned.

Jack sat down heavily on a stool. "He said he needed to do something, get busy and stop thinking. I didn't really want him to come…he still looks half dead…but if you'd heard him last night, and seen his face…"

"He really needs this."

"Yes."

Sam nodded. "Ok. So lunch then? Eleven?"

"Perfect. I'm gonna hunt up T." Jack headed for the door. "I wonder if he'll teach Bra'tac to bake brownies?"

He heard Sam's snicker as he left the lab.

* * *

Sam took a deep breath as she neared Daniel's office. The Colonel had been pulled into what looked to be a very long string of meetings. Teal'c was training a new set of recruits. It was just after eleven and she was ready to grab lunch. She was more than a little nervous heading in to see Daniel. She wasn't unaccustomed to grief, but it certainly wasn't something she was altogether comfortable with. And as close as she felt to Daniel, she wasn't really sure how to help him.

She gave a perfunctory knock on the open door, but went in without waiting for a reply. She found Daniel sitting at his desk, holding his head, his glasses discarded on the desk. She walked over and touched his arm. "Daniel?"

He looked awful. He didn't move, but he finally whispered, "Sam."

She said softly, "Are you alright?"

"No."

Sam was shocked at the response and felt fear twist her gut. If he was admitting he wasn't alright, that meant something was very far wrong. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

She sat down across from him. "Daniel, you just said you weren't alright. Still have a headache?"

"Yes."

"Should I get Janet?" Reaching out to touch his arm, she said softly, "Is it worse than before?"

"About the same." He whispered. He wished she hadn't come. He'd buried himself in some reorganizing of files that tended to become sadly neglected. That had worked for about an hour until his head started threatening to explode again. He'd just been sitting quietly for the past two hours or so hoping the pain would recede a bit. It hadn't really helped. He hated that everyone was so worried about him. He just wanted to be left alone long enough to neatly bury everything.

Sam was still sitting quietly, waiting. He knew she was trying hard to help, they all were. He put his glasses back on and forced himself to sit up and look at her. He couldn't manage a smile, but said, "I'll be ok."

Sam nodded, "You will be, but there's no reason you need to sit here and suffer." She didn't want to seem harsh, but she knew he needed a gentle push. "Daniel, you've got a migraine. Janet can help. You just need to let her, and get some more rest."

He looked away. "I know."

"So."

Taking a deep breath, not even sure if he felt up to the trek to the infirmary, he said, "Ok."

"Thank you." She said seriously, standing up. She felt greatly relieved that he was willing to go. They made their way slowly and silently to the infirmary. Once they reached Janet's domain, Daniel went straight to the most convenient bed and immediately lay down. Sam waved over the nurse on duty and softly explained the situation.

"Dr. Frasier left some orders in his chart in case he came in." Gina said, "I can give him an something for the migraine and for the nausea. Janet is in surgery right now, but she'll be back here in a bit."

"Thanks, Gina." Sam smiled as the nurse hurried to get the medications.

* * *

Janet was only slightly surprised to hear crying from her office and the sound of tissues being pulled violently from the box. She closed the door behind her as she entered. "Sam." She said softly.

"Janet." Sam sniffed, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Janet sat on the edge of her desk and smiled. "Gina told me what's going on. I just checked and he's still sleeping."

Sam nodded, "He's been out for about an hour now."

"I wasn't expecting to see him today." Janet said.

Sam shrugged, "He told the Colonel he had to get back to work, to stop thinking about it."

"Well, I can certainly understand." Janet blew out a puff of air, trying to get a stray hair out of her eyes. "But he's not ready to be stressing himself out like this. He needs to lay low and get as much rest as he can for the next week or so. He is recovering from a very serious head injury."

Sam smiled briefly, "I know that, _you_ know that, and Colonel O'Neill knows that…but getting Daniel to cooperate is something else entirely."

"Well, maybe this will help him see he needs to take a little more time." Janet rubbed her eyes. "You want to get lunch, Sam?"

"Yeah, actually I do." Sam stood up. "I'm really not looking forward to telling the Colonel about this."

Janet smiled. "Just do it quickly and get out of the way…and you'll be fine. _Daniel_ will be the one who's going to be in trouble!"

* * *

Jack sighed for the thousandth time and glanced at the clock meaningfully. It was after seven. This training session/debriefing for all SG team leaders had taken all day! Good thing he'd made sure to have Carter on Daniel watch. She'd promised to even take him home by 2 if Jack wasn't out of the meeting. So at least that was one less thing for him to worry about. At last, the meeting was adjourned and he stood up stiffly and headed for the most convenient door.

He wasn't expecting to see Sam standing there waiting for him. "Carter."

"Colonel." She answered back.

"Daniel home?"

She hesitated. He narrowed his eyes, "You look suspiciously like someone who has something unpleasant to say. Spit it out."

"He's in the infirmary, sir."

"He's what! Why? What happened?" He took off at a steady pace toward the elevators, Sam nipping at his heels. A thousand thoughts were running through his mind, none of them good. What could have happened?

"Sir, it's ok. He's ok. His migraine flared up and he agreed to see Janet." She said breathlessly as they came to a stop in front of the elevator.

He hit the button, then turned to look at her, "That bad?"

"Yes, sir. He was miserable. He's been sleeping since about noon. Teal'c is with him now."

The door slid open and they went in, Jack feeling the knot in his stomach unclench somewhat. "At least he's sleeping."

"Yes, sir."

"I _knew_ he shouldn't come in today."

"Of course, sir. But I think that Daniel wouldn't have seen it or accepted it if he hadn't gone through this. He's stubborn."

"Too stubborn for his own good." Jack growled slightly.

"Sir." Sam started softly.

"Relax, Carter." Jack smiled tiredly, "I'm not going to chew him out about it. He's suffered enough."

She smiled back and nodded.

They ran into Janet in the hall outside the infirmary. She smiled, "Hello, Sam, Colonel."

"How is he, doc?"

"Better. He slept most of the afternoon and evening. He just woke up about twenty minutes ago and informed me unequivocally that he was leaving as soon as you arrived, Colonel."

"Ah." Jack raised his eyebrows and nodded. "So you gonna release him?"

"Yes. As long as I don't clap eyes on him in this mountain for another week." Janet nodded.

"Ah." Jack repeated, "And did you tell him that in unequivocal terms?" He waved his finger, "Cuz otherwise I see arguments in my future."

Janet smiled magnanimously and Jack felt a slight chill thinking she really must have been a dictator in a past life. She said, "Oh, I don't think there will be any arguments, sir." Jack swore he felt the temperature drop by ten degrees from the menacing tone in her voice. "Daniel and I had a long talk a few minutes ago. Meaning I talked and he listened. He was amazingly agreeable. He will not give you any trouble and he will not be coming back to the SGC until next Monday at the earliest. He is to do nothing but rest and try to sleep for the rest of the week. I have instructions and a new pile of meds for you to take with you. I can drop by after work on my way home a few times this week if needed to check on him. Any questions?"

"No, ma'am." Jack felt like he needed to salute…or beg for mercy.

"Ok then. You may go in and get him out of here. Call me if you have any concerns." She reshuffled the files in her arms and continued down the hallway.

Jack shook his head, "She must have taken a class on intimidation in med school."

Sam snickered.

"I mean it. I need her to teach me some tricks for dealing with Daniel."

They headed into the infirmary. Teal'c rose from where he had been sitting next to Daniel's bed as they entered. He said softly, "Was your meeting a valuable one, O'Neill?"

"Oh you could say so." Jack shook his head, keeping his voice low. He studied Daniel and took Teal'c's seat.

Daniel had his eyes closed and was laying back against the pillow, the head of the bed up a bit. The dark circles under his eyes were beginning to seem like they were going to be permanent. He was pale and looked exhausted. Jack said softly, "Hey."

"Jack."

"How are you doing?"

"Fine."

Jack exchanged knowing looks with Sam and Teal'c. "You want to get out of here?"

"Yes."

"Ok."

Daniel slowly slid his legs over the edge of the bed and dragged himself to a sitting position. Jack could have sworn he lost what very little color had been in his face as he sat up. Sam practically jumped onto the bed to throw a steadying hand around Daniel's shoulders as he swayed. Jack stood to his other side, ready to catch him if he went over any farther. After a moment, Daniel very slowly and shakily stood up. Jack noticed he still hadn't opened his eyes.

"Ready?"

"Yes." Daniel forced his eyes open. The dim light was painful and he instantly put his hand to his eyes.

Jack grabbed his sunglasses from his pocket and nudged Daniel's arm. "Here."

Daniel took them with a badly shaking hand but didn't reply.

* * *

The drive was very quiet. Jack felt exhausted and tense. He glanced over at Daniel who had slumped against the door as soon as he'd gotten into the truck. He still had the sunglasses on and Jack suddenly realized no one had thought to grab his glasses out of the infirmary before they left. _Oh well. _He shouldn't be needing them if he was going to be doing as much sleeping as _Janet_ intended him to be doing.

A few minutes later, he pulled into his driveway. Turning off the truck, Jack paused a moment. There was no movement from beside him. Finally, he said softly, "Daniel."

"Hm?" was the mumbled response.

"We're here."

Daniel pushed himself off the door with effort and rubbed his eyes, knocking the sunglasses. He pulled them off and looked at them in total surprise. "What?"

Jack smiled, "It was bright earlier. How's your head?"

"It's killing me."

"Looks like it does. Come on, let's go in."

Jack was around the truck and waiting for Daniel by the time he got the door opened. Jack shook his head to himself. He still looked like he was ½ dead and he was a lot less steady than he had been when they'd gone in earlier. A guiding hand under his elbow, Jack led Daniel to the door. Once inside, Jack was ready to head to the spare room, but Daniel broke away and went straight to the couch. Jack kept his mouth shut watching as Daniel lay down, rolled over onto his stomach, and pulled the pillow over his head.

Jack headed for the kitchen. Surely, there were some leftovers in a dark corner somewhere. He made himself a makeshift, late dinner and slipped out to the living room, quietly sitting down in his armchair. He didn't turn on a light and didn't bother with the television. He had a feeling that Daniel didn't really want to be alone which was why he'd headed for the couch versus the bedroom. But he also felt that a silent companionship was the best thing to offer at this point.

He had just finished his dinner and was considering what to do next. He was more tired than he ought to be. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes. He considered flicking the television on but hated to do so knowing how bad Daniel's head was hurting. So he sat back and decided to take a nap. He hadn't been quiet for long before he heard a very soft voice.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?" he opened his eyes and looked over at the couch. Daniel had pushed the pillow off his head, but he was still lying down on the couch, eyes closed. He looked a little more relaxed than earlier.

"Did Janet send any medicine?"

"Yes." Jack said. He headed for the kitchen and grabbed the pill bottle from the counter and a bottle of water from the fridge before walking over and sitting on the coffee table. "Bad?"

"Bad enough." He forced his eyes open and looked at Jack. "I'm sorry."

Jack frowned, "For what?"

"For being such an idiot. I shouldn't have gone in today."

"No, you shouldn't have. But that doesn't mean you're an idiot, Daniel. It means you needed to do something. I understand. _I'm _sorry you're feeling so rotten. Here."

Daniel didn't seem inclined to move at all, so Jack pushed the pill into his hand, and then handed him the water bottle. Daniel barely lifted his head. "I should go home."

Jack snorted. "You can't even lift your head to take a drink. What you need to do is sleep."

Daniel closed his eyes. "I slept earlier."

"You were drugged."

"Your point?"

"You need more than a few hours."

"I know."

"Why don't you go to bed."

"I'm fine here. I don't want to move."

"You gonna try to sleep?"

"I'll try."

"Want anything else?"

"No. Thanks."

"Ok. I'll be around if you need something. Get some sleep." Jack said, dropping the blanket down over his friend. "Pills and water are on the table here." Turning, he flicked off the lights and headed to the kitchen. He cleaned up his dishes and headed to bed himself. Even though he'd slept well the night before, he could feel the gnawing buildup of sleeplessness from the previous week catching up with him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Tuesday**

The next morning Jack was up at 5, feeling more refreshed than he had in awhile. A quick shower and he headed to the kitchen. The sun was just barely peering through the windows as he walked out into the hallway. He noticed the guest bedroom door was closed. Apparently, at some point, Daniel had made his way to bed. Jack started some coffee and eggs. The coffee was just starting to drip and the eggs weren't even sizzling when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

He glanced away from the eggs and saw that Daniel was standing in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe. He looked half asleep, but also a bit better. Jack met his eyes and asked, "Did I wake you up?"

Daniel shook his head slowly. "I was awake."

"You been up long?"

"I don't know." Daniel rubbed his eyes. "I slept for awhile."

_Not long enough._ Jack thought, but kept that to himself. Instead, he asked, "Hungry?"

Daniel sighed and shrugged, walking across the room to stare out the window. Jack threw in some more eggs and pulled out another mug. The silence remained unbroken as he prepared breakfast. As he poured the coffee, Daniel turned around and carried the plates to the table, accepting a mug gratefully.

They were silent for a few moments, then Daniel asked, "Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Bring me my glasses, will ya? Janet's got 'em."

"Sure." Jack nodded. The silence returned as they ate. Finishing up, Jack said, "I'll make you a sandwich and leave it in the fridge in case you get hungry later."

"Thanks."

"I should be home by five. Call me if you need anything." Jack waited a moment, then touched Daniel on the shoulder, "Promise me you'll call."

Daniel met his gaze and said, "Thanks, Jack. I will."

Nodding, Jack headed for the kitchen to clean up. By the time he was done making a sandwich, Daniel had disappeared. Jack grabbed his coat and keys, then quietly went back down the hall. He saw that Daniel was sound asleep and nodded, then headed for the door.

* * *

**Wednesday**

Pulling into the driveway the next evening, Jack was a bit surprised to find the yard raked and the broken limb that had been cluttering up the corner of the yard gone. Someone had needed something to do today; that was clear. Daniel had slept most of the day before. It had been one of the hardest days. And for good reason. It had been exactly one week since Sha're had died and Daniel knew it. Jack couldn't fault him for trying to avoid thinking about it. This morning, however, he had seemed to be feeling better. Jack headed into the house, taking a deep breath. He'd been wondering all day how Daniel was doing. He dropped his keys on the stand next to the door and took a cautious glance at the couch. Empty. He was about to head down the hall for a peek, when he glanced out the sliding glass doors. Daniel was sitting on the porch, knees drawn up and head down on his arms.

Jack headed for the kitchen. It was a bit nippy outside, but a gorgeous fall day nonetheless. Glancing at his surprisingly spotless kitchen, Jack realized Daniel had been very busy all day. The coffee pot was full and sitting with an apparently freshly brewed pot. He poured two steaming cups and headed out to the porch. Daniel didn't look up as he walked out.

"Hey." Jack said softly, sitting down next to Daniel on the steps.

"Jack." Daniel's response was muffled as he didn't move to lift his head when Jack spoke.

"Daniel." Jack waited, but got no response to that conversation opener. He sighed, "Thanks for raking and cleaning up around here."

"Welcome."

"I've got the coffee." He offered, seeing no other way to get rid of the second mug, or engage Daniel in conversation. He took a sip of his own and waited. After a moment, he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Headache?"

"Not really."

"Good." Jack sipped the coffee, studying Daniel out of the corner of his eye. He still hadn't moved. Jack nudged him gently on the shoulder. "Talk to me."

Daniel sighed heavily, but lifted his head. He glanced at Jack briefly and held out his hand for the second mug. Jack handed it to him silently and waited patiently. Daniel stared at the steaming liquid for a long moment, then finally took a sip. After another long moment, he asked softly, "Anything exciting happen today?"

_Well it's a start, _Jack thought, _at least he's talking._ "Oh, you know, the usual. SG 11 brought back a new rash that has Janet in an uproar. Teal'c was sparring with Ferretti again and gave him a beauty of a shiner. Carter was going nuts over some new doohickey that SG 11 brought back, except she couldn't get to them to ask all the questions she had cuz Janet had 'em locked up in iso."

"So nothing out of the ordinary, then?" Daniel smiled briefly.

"Yeah not so much."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes until Daniel finally spoke up softly. "I would never say this to anyone but you, Jack. But I know you'll understand."

Jack looked up, waiting.

Daniel held his gaze steadily. He said, "All day I've been trying to keep busy and stop thinking about the fact that I don't want to go on."

Jack felt his heart thud painfully in his chest. He rather expected that Daniel was feeling that way, but he'd never imagined he'd hear his friend verbalize it.

Daniel sighed. "I am so tired. I feel the way I did when I first came back from Abydos." He looked up at the sky. "It feels like the twilight zone. I can't go back and I don't want to go forward. I don't want to wake up every morning knowing she's gone. I'm tired of all of it."

"Daniel." Jack started tentatively when Daniel paused.

"Jack." Daniel looked back at him somberly, "I'm just saying how I feel. I know it'll get easier and things will get back to normal. But that's how I feel right now." He closed his eyes.

Jack gripped the mug hard, hearing Daniel's clinical description of the grieving process. He knew he was right; _been there, got the T-shirt._ He trusted Daniel to say what he meant and mean what he said. But it wasn't easy to hear his friend express exactly how badly he was hurting. Trying to think of something to say, his thoughts were interrupted.

Daniel spoke up again, "The more I tried not to think, the more thinking I actually did." He smiled ruefully, "So I came out here to just try to think it all through and figure it out."

"Oh? And did you?"

"Not really. But I think I have a start. I thought about that year on Abydos and I realized that I had lived more in that year than I had ever lived in my life. Everything I'd ever hoped for had come true."

Jack couldn't help but smile as some enthusiasm crept into Daniel's voice.

"An ancient culture, a dead language come alive, all of my theories that had been mocked were proven right. And I had the woman of my dreams." He paused and took a deep breath. "I thought about how many people we buried during that year. Some from illnesses, accidents, old age. Just because Apophis took Sha're doesn't necessarily mean that we would have had any more time together. I don't think I ever told you, but I almost died that first month after you all came back to earth."

"What, _again_?" Jack couldn't stop the quip, although the revelation startled him. That year back on earth, he had worried and wondered a great deal how Daniel was doing living on the alien world.

Daniel smiled, "Yeah, actually. Something was going around and, being the one not native to the planet, I got it bad. That was the end of the antibiotics. After that, every single moment was a gift we didn't take for granted."

Jack shook his head. "You did forget to mention this."

"Didn't matter, really." Daniel shrugged. "We had other issues on our minds at that time. Anyway, the point is, life is short, fragile, and there aren't any guarantees."

"So?"

"So."

"So what?"

"So you know what, all the clichés you hate."

"So, look at the good times, not the bad, happy memories, count one's blessings, ect, ect, ect?" Jack listed off.

"Exactly."

"So it working for you?"

Daniel laughed a little. "More in theory than anything else right now."

Jack nodded, thinking back to when he first set foot back on earth after Abydos the first time. Daniel's subtle wakeup call and pep talk on Abydos had been the start _he_ had needed to get back to living. And that had definitely been more in theory at first. It had taken him a year of lots of solitude and thinking to move on and start living again. But he had. And then his life had, once more, changed forever with the reopening of the gate. _For the better._

They sat silently for a few minutes until their coffee was gone. Jack raised his cup, "Refill?"

Daniel nodded, standing up.

Heading to the door, Jack said, "I noticed you set up the board."

"_I_ noticed you were still trying to think yourself out of checkmate from the last game."

"Hm." Jack sniffed. "I still say I could have done it."

"Rematch?"

"Absolutely."


	12. Chapter 12

They spread out as usual. The air was cool and the leaves were changing colors just like on Earth. It was a beautiful, crisp fall day and it looked like this was going to be a smooth mission after all. Jack nodded to himself as he finished his sweep of the perimeter. Teal'c and Carter were already making their own circuits. _Which left Daniel_. Jack turned back to the gate, just in time to see Daniel sink to the edge of the steps and put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

_Crap. He didn't even make it off the gate platform._ Jack thought. It hadn't even been a full two weeks since her death. They had all wondered, and actually worried, quite a bit about how Daniel was going to fare on his first trip back through the gate after Sha're's death. _His first trip without any hope of getting his wife back._ Well, it looked like they had been right in their concern.

By now, Jack saw that Teal'c and Sam had also turned around and noted their teammate's appearance. Jack met their eyes and waved them both off. They nodded and continued their own survey of the area. Jack sighed, repositioned his P90 and slowly walked back to the gate platform. He had been dreading this for a while. Actually, he had been dreading this moment from right about the time they stepped back through the gate after Sha're died on Abydos. He had been afraid that Daniel would quit the team and leave altogether. So far that hadn't happened. _But that didn't mean he couldn't change his mind._

Jack silently walked up and eased himself down next to Daniel. Daniel didn't move and Jack didn't say anything. There were times for talking and times for silent companionship. This was one of the times he knew that he had to keep his mouth shut and just give Daniel time. He was going to be patient, if it killed him. Sam and Teal'c could get the samples and retrieve the UAV without them. If they were going to get things back to some semblance of normal, he needed to let Daniel take whatever time he needed.

It only took a few minutes before Daniel lifted his head and glanced around disinterestedly at the scenery. Jack looked over at him and they locked eyes. Daniel looked tired. He also looked like he was literally in physical pain. He said very softly in a desperately sad voice, "I really didn't think it was going to hurt this much."

Jack just nodded. He knew Daniel had been trying to convince himself over the past few days prepping for this mission that it was no big deal. But it _was_ a big deal, and it was obviously killing him from the inside out. They sat for another few minutes in silence, staring out at the pleasant scenery.

"We can go, Jack. I don't want to hold everything up. I'm sorry."

"Daniel. Stop. You're not holding anything up. And you don't have to be sorry." Jack put a hand on his shoulder. "I know we've said it till you're probably sick of hearing it, but I'm still sorry Sha're died, Daniel."

Daniel nodded, looking away. It hurt to hear everyone tell him that they were sorry and it ached to keep remembering she was gone forever. But it helped that Jack was keeping him focused and kept guiding him forward. If it hadn't been for Jack, Daniel had a feeling he'd be a lot more lost than he was right now.

_And he was pretty lost as it was._

"You know something." Jack started, shaking his head, "The absolute hardest thing for me was going to get groceries."

Daniel turned to look at him in mild confusion, thrown by the apparent change in subject. He waited.

Jack smiled sadly and nodded, "It's almost funny to talk about now. But I really had a hard time going to get groceries after Charlie died. For a boy, he really loved going with Sarah to the store. He analyzed everything, once he started reading; he read every label he could reach. He wanted to restack the cans and reorganize the apples." Jack rubbed his eyes. "He counted all the different kinds of ice cream one time after he had learned to count to 100. We ended up spending so much time in the grocery store it was ridiculous. But it was one of the hardest things to get over after…" he paused. "I missed him so much and it just ripped me apart walking down the aisle and remembering everything Charlie…."

Daniel nodded slowly, finally meeting Jack's gaze. He didn't say anything.

Jack squeezed his shoulder, studying him somberly, "I'd never lie to you, Daniel. You are going to spend a lot of time finding new ways that you never thought you could hurt, new things that you never thought could make you feel so depressed. But you're going to get through it. You are."

Daniel nodded again.

"You've just got to give it time. You'll find your way and a new hope for the future." Jack tried a small smile. "Trust me?"

"I always trust you, Jack." Daniel returned his smile briefly.

"Good." He repositioned his hat. "Just don't forget we're here for you. Whatever you need. Door's open." He stood up, "Need a few?"

Daniel shook his head, feeling not a lot, but definitely a little better. He took Jack's outstretched hand and stood up. "Thanks. For everything."

"Not a problem." Jack gave him a hearty pat on the back, "So, ruins?"

"Ruins."

"Onward!" Jack waved his hand at Teal'c and Sam who waved back.

He smiled as they headed to catch up with the rest of the team. No matter how hard the road ahead, no matter what heartaches the galaxy threw at them, they were a team and they'd always be there to do battle for one another.

_It's what we do._

* * *

_**The End**_


End file.
